The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well nothing stays the same, thank God! I have come to the message board almost everday for a month or two. I have not have time to read or go to a F2F meeting. Listening to all of you and trying to respond and write my own share, has really helped. I am feeling calmer, less flat, and more positive. My Aspouse is trying a little, but I don't have much hope for her to change. It's like I need the message drilled into my head a million times, that I can only change myself. And I can't rescue anyone else. And maybe I can be happy no matter what my Aspouse is doing (well, that remains to be seen!). I guess I just want to thank everyone for their shares and responses to me. I learn from everyone. And even though I feel a little better, I need to check in here everday. It's too easy to slip back into the hole of hopeless feelings. Lyne
Great share and awareness :) Keep coming! Hope you get to a meeting so you can get some phone numbers and a sponsor :) Take care and glad you are here!
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
I liked your share and it is evident you are applying the program in your life. Looking with a different set of eyes.
I can only add what relative newcomer shared in my Home Group this past Tuesday night. She stated that for months she couldn't find time to go to f2f meetings, and the difference now is she doesn't have time not to go to f2f meetings.
You're right! You can be happy regardless what your Aspouse decides to do. I certainly didn't undertand that statement when I first began. However, reading posts from this message board, reading the Al-Anon daily readers (do you have those?) and most importantly attending F2F meetings have convinced me that, yep, I can be happy regardless if he stays in recovery or not.
If you need the message drilled into your head zillion times, no problem. We are here to tell (write) every day if need be. It takes time for it all to sink in; it's still sinking in with me.
You might have down days, but they will get fewer and fewer if you strive to get a program going for yourself.
I honestly found that when I take care of my business and keep my nose out of my recovering ex-AH, who lives with me now, then he actually does better. He continues to tell me, "You've changed." And he means it in a good way. I have to give credit to the Al-Anon program for my change. I've finally gotten off his back (not to imply you are on your spouse's). It gets easier keeping my mouth closed when it used to always be spewing out what I used to consider "helpful advice." Personally I don't know how he took it. Perhaps it's because he is hard of hearing
I could go on for paragraphs, but I'll spare you
You keep coming back, okay! We're here for you. We all help each other.
Take good care, Gail
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
I share everyone else's ESH :) Keep coming back, keep doing the best you can and believe me things will just start to look better.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
