The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I got to go to my home group meeting tonight. I was so glad to be there.
When I got home this afternoon, something was really bothering me. I realized how controling I really am. I mean, I constantly check up on my A, and my kids, making sure they did the things I asked them to do. I really cried about it tonight and then called my sponsor. What I figured out with her was that I need to really think about checking up and questioning everybody in my house all the time. If someone left a list of things for me to do, I would be so mad! I would stamp around and not want to do those things. This goes on into the world of my A and checking up on him to see if he drank. I call on my breaks from work just to hear his voice because I can hear a tone in his voice that tells me he drank, or not. How would I feel if someone did that to me? Constantly checking up on me, to see if I did something. I would hate it! So tomorrow, I may still call to say hi, but not to listen to his voice to see if he drank.
So we shared at the meeting about control, communitcating, and detaching...there was much to say. I am going to keep coming and keep trying to work on me, and focusing on me. When I do focus on me, I don't check up on everyone. The world will go on, and my house will still be there when I get home. My kids will have done what they are supposed to do, whether I check up on them or not. My 14 year old son is very responsible and I must drive him nuts when I call and ask him what they did so far, what they are going to do, how they should do it... UGH! So I am a work in progress. I am so glad I found alanon because I can work on me in all my affairs... I can't say enough how much going to a real time meeting helps. I mean to hear these people talk and share... its amazing. I also found XA speakers that has podcasts on it, and listened to a wonderful person talk about her journey to alanon. I really got a good dose of my alanon medication tonight :)
Thanks all!
__________________
-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
This really did make me giggle.. in a good way... you commented on my post about Day 2, and I can now see why. Yep... I have found like minded people for sure
For me when I am checking up or in with people I have to examine my motives. Am I doing it so that I will be o.k.? I think you have been granted a new insight into your life which is a gift from your higher power. There are the 3 A's in Alanon which are not mentioned as often as the 3 C's. They are: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.
Since you have discussed this with your sponsor, I sense from your note you are at the acceptance portion. Listen to your sponsors good orderly direction, she will guide you on which actions to take.
The control stuff is so funny (irnoic). I now catch myself with the kids all of the time. The whole story about you didn't pour enough milk in the cereal hit me big time. I so do similar things like that .. it's funny how hearing someone else say something brings it home. I'm constantly asking myself how important is it. LOL!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Pushka, yeah actually because of your post yesterday I took a better look at myself and said, yeah I do that too! And it made me feel pretty awful. Til I talked to my sponsor and went to the meeting... then I realized I could change it and now I am working on it :) Tommye, thank you for those 3 A's. Cool! Like it!
__________________
-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
