The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The past few days I didn't react to my RA bf acting....out? I just went about my business, went to the movies, etc...tried to have the best days possible and didn't show any aggravation. THANK YOU folks for talking about detachment and such, you've been such a help! I'm so happy that worked :) Thank you thank you! Yay.
Annnd, I'm also so confused. RA pulled another all nighter or two - basically he was taking stuff out, putting it away..whatever! As a result instead of going to work he lay in a room all day and I never saw him. Not a peep, not to say hi to the dog, nada. This morning he lay on the couch with a blanket over his head until noon. Seeing how I work at home, it's like living with a troll under the bridge. When he DID emerge, he sounded chipper and normal. Helped with some computer problems. Also pointed out what a great job he did putting stuff away [ which he took out in the first place?! ] all of this in a normal conversational way...
I really feel like I'm taking crazy pills here. His tone of voice and attitude are great. Hiding under a blanket and sleeping for 24 hrs like I don't exist is not great. Saying in a cheerful tone that he lost 2 days of work becausehe had to take all night putting stuff away is..???
This strike a bell with anyone? This isn't about him...I'm wondering if I'm nuts or ?? is he nuts...??? Very confusing behavior.
Meanwhile, the day goes on! Thanks again, and blessings
I am very new here in this way. My immediate take on this is... and please remember my newness... he is baiting for a reaction. You have put things in place for you and he is in a tiz about it, not sure how to take it.
I can relate to this type of behaviour from my past, not my current, relationships.
I would say smile and say.. look.. something is changing.
Please remember I have only been here a very short time and listen to what the experienced people have to say.
I lived around an alcoholic neighbor and he was sick as a dog most of the time with his alcohol intake. Yet he never addressed it. He was adamant he was not an alcoholic.
they are fantastic at invading territory. They are absolutely fantastic at sucking you in.
Get a copy of getting them sober its a great great resource for learning about expectations.
Testing, testing, testing, good job on not reacting.
I know my A wants to pretend there is really nothing happening and everything is normal. It can go that way for a while the reality for us was there was a time limit and we're at it right now. It drove me crazy to watch him have totally normal behavior while all I could do what think .. umm .. at some point the reality of the DUI has to set in. Now I don't know if the reality of the DUI has set in (he's in the they can't call it a DUI so it really didn't happen phase.) I'm just focusing on the fact I know, .. I know what my truth is I know what I saw (I do not listen to what he tells me) and that keeps me level. In the midst of craziness, I know and am firm in what my truth is of my own situation.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
