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Just a quick share... I've been away for a few days on vacation with my family. I just have to tell y'all that it was one of the best weekends I have spent with my parents! I have myself, Alanon, and this board to thank along with some counseling. Huge, wonderful changes!
Since starting Alanon, my approach to dealing with my relationships has changed dramatically, especially with unhealthy people who used to make me feel terrible. I am so much more able to not take things personally, to not take responsibility for problems that aren't mine, to not take on other people's crappy moods, and to not tolerate being mistreated! I am able to draw boundaries around my own little peace of mind and know that - hey, that's their issue. I don't deserve to be treated this way and I can choose how I respond. OMG! What a turnaround!! ;)
Seriously, I PRACTICED my &#*( off this weekend with my parents. I redirected conversations, took deep breaths and practiced positive internal self-talk, including the simple and profound serenity prayer, I removed myself from situations that were bad for me, and sought out positive, constructive conversations based on love and acceptance and just having real fun together. The changes I've made for myself have caused positive changes in my family and people are seeing this new way I'm doing things and starting to think about trying it out.
I am still sad that my dad can't really enjoy these times with me, but I keep trying not to take it personally and I'm doing better at that now than ever before. Those are his issues and really it's his loss, but nothing I can do but continue to love him the best I can and take care of myself!
Just wanted to share this wonderful, hopeful piece of news. I am really blown away by the good changes in the last few months for me, and so thankful that I can see the profound positive changes in my relationships with the people I love. I had a really wonderful weekend together with my family and I came home feeling better and stronger than before.
Just got to keep my focus and keep on workin it! I've made this recovery my priority and I've got my work cut out for me! Thanks for all your ESH and support!!
What an inspirating post. I disagree with one thing you said....You don't have your work cut out for you....from where I sit....You have been doing your work!!
That's a Doozie, Doozy and I'm so glad you had a great time and came back here to share it. I know that if I do what you did my outcomes will be better also. That is how it works along with giving it away to others. Great you have a great time...maybe Dad will want what you have too. (((((hugs)))))
Thank you for your share :) So glad you had such a great weekend amazing what a different perspective in a situation can do for a person!!! :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I know that for me, its kinda funny at times, because i can see My Family strugging to see whats in my head now..lol.. At first it truly Bothered them, that i would Get up and walk away in the middle of their conversation of "Gossip: and go have a Water while they were all drinking beer... And when I would Redirect conversation that was my way of keeping me within Safe boundry's... Now... My ASister (Who Swears You doesn't have a drinking problem but wont quit) is ALWAYS wanting to know, What i'm Reading, and "Can you Explain this Detachment" (That was the other day... Made me So Happy) She now has a Copy ;0) I don't know if she will choose to change her life, but I try the best I can, (even though she was ALOT of my torment growing up) to Guide instead of stear... I Offer her Lit, when she brings it up, or I tell her of my Daily readers, (I Gifted her Courage to Change ) And Though she is now struggling, she is also becoming More aware of were her Life is, and the Direction its headed, and I can see the changes in her some... I don't take credit for ANY of it, Its All Her, But it is Nice too know that because I handed in my Negative BS, and Got Right with My HP, and started to Lead By Choice... She too Is Growing, and wanting to learn more...
Now my Relationship with my baby ABrother... Well that is Another Story... He KNOWS he has a Problem, and he is OK with that, so He just Avoids me like the Plaque because he knows that I go to Al-Anon... not for any other reason...lol... I have Never Preached it to him, I never even said to him ANYTHING about his Drinking, Just that I Go to Meetings :) But his Own Guilt keeps us apart more then the rest... I love him and Know his disease well... Learn more about it everyday, because I fit the bill as well!
For Me Just knowing That i had Choices and Could Change things Just by being the Kinda Person I Always Wanted to be, but never felt good enough! Seeing that I Can Make a Differance even if it is in Small Doses... I have realized by my experiance That Possitve Thinking, Carries me Some Day when I don't have the Strength to Fight another bad Day! The Tools we Learn here are Forever Widening my Life, Forever givin me More Hopes & Dreams that I CAN Make Come true... With the Help of My HP, The Serenity Prayers and the Many Tools....
You Did AWESOME I LOVE Happy Possitive Program at Work... After All That is why I Show up! Because the Progress is Never Ending. Knowledge for Life.. And tho I Slip from time to time, that shows here too... Because I Am Human Regardless of how I was Programmed early On....
So Glad your Here, Glad you Shared Your Excitement and I hope it Carry's you thru a Wonderful Week ahead & then Some... KEEP COMING BACK
Yay for you!!! You are working the program in you life and there is no greater challenge than working it with our families!
I did very well at my husband's family reunion this summer which I'm proud of. It's great to come back from a potential "land-mine" event with yourself intact, isn't it?
) And Though she is now struggling, she is also becoming More aware of were her Life is, and the Direction its headed, and I can see the changes in her some... I don't take credit for ANY of it, Its All Her, But it is Nice too know that because I handed in my Negative BS, and Got Right with My HP, and started to Lead By Choice... She too Is Growing, and wanting to learn more...
and the Many Tools....
I LOVE Happy Possitive Program at Work... After All That is why I Show up! Because the Progress is Never Ending. Knowledge for Life.. And tho I Slip from time to time, that shows here too... Because I Am Human Regardless of how I was Programmed early On....