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May I ask for prayers for my younger brother who is in ICU from the ravishes from the disease. He has been there for days now and my enabling mother by his side daily. I`am filled with so many emotions knowing that he may make it through or he may not. Its my anger that I struggle with for my mom that bothers me. As she has enabled him constantly. I use to say (prior to the last 6 months), please don`t do this mom your killing him. She does everything for him that he can`t function without her and he is 50! I know if I pray for her my resentment for her disapates but only for awhile. Prayers for her welcomed also.
So sorry sending prayers of support to your whole family.
P
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
((((Samsgram))))...quiet your center and when it is gently say slowly..."She is doing the best she can with what she has" and then hug her when you next see her. She also deserves the 3cees. ((((hugs))))...prayers of course.
I'm sorry about your brother's condition. I also know what it's like to stand by and see your mother coddle/enable a brother. My recently deceased mother, who did the best she knew how, coddled my brother, and he is now struggling being an adult (he is 53).
I pray for your brother, mother and you. It's possible to come to accept what seems the acceptable.
I hope you can turn the things you can't change over to the HP of your understanding.
Take good care, Gail
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
Dear samsgram. I think we all feel for your family because so many of us have been where you are. Angry relationships with mothers is, unfortunately,a very common occurance.
BUT, Samsgram, your brother might just as well have been in the same situation if your mother had NOT "coddeled" him.
The disease has him where he is. Your mother has no more control over it than anyone else has. It is very easy to project all the anger onto her. If mothers could cure addiction it would have been done.
I say try to be a gentle as you can with your mother because she is most certainly suffering also.
I am sending best thoughts for you and your family right now.
Thanks everyone for the prayers and support. I went to the hospital to see my brother today and gave my mother a hug and kiss. I also spoke with the doctor and got a real picture of whats going on. Cirrhosis of the liver, encephalopathy of the brain, neuropathy of feet and lower legs, heart damage. He also suffered some type of seziure. Now, for the good part. mom, left with me to hit a noontime meeting. After the meeting she said, its different for her to stop helping him (brother). I said, no mom, that everybody has a hard time with change. All she can say is, "I want to run away" or die" .. I know she is ill with this diease.No coping skills runs amuk.. uhhh.. She grew up in it. I will try and detach from her. Hard stuff.. uhhh. Little brother may be released as soon as next week or two to a rehab if he is willing. I will really need my program then as I have never seen him and my mother not joined at the hip and her not saying she will take care of him. He is very very sick but looks like he is coming out of it. Thank you everyone. Its sooo true, they either end up insane or dying.
More prayers to you and your family during this difficult time. I'm so glad to hear your mom went with you to a meeting. Change at any age is difficult I give your mom a lot of credit for trying. My own mother is 70 I can't imagine her choosing to even attempt a more positive direction. Kudos to your mom and kudos to you for knowing you need self care by attending meetings. :)
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
