Acceptance - Al-Anon Family Group

McHurting · Member

Acceptance

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear McHurting

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Great Dane and the difficult times that you are facing with your dad. Thank you for your powerful message of hope based on Acceptance.

So happy that you have the support of alanon face to face meetings and that you are sharing here.

Keep coming back-- please. We are a felloowship of equals.

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs McHurting,

So sorry for your loss. I'm so glad you found the f2f meetings and sometimes it's all about focusing on that one foot in front of another and then we look back and go WOW how far we've come. :)

Please keep coming back, Hugs P :)

sookie · Senior Member

Let me also say I am sorry about your dog and also congrats on going to a meeting. You are definitely not alone!

Otie · Senior Member

Dear McHurting, I just had to have my German Shepard of 16yrs. put down less than 48hrs. ago. I know how you are feeling right now, as I have waves of pain and have been crying on and off for the last 48.

I put it off for as long as I could possibly could. I think many others would have done it sooner. But, I had to do it for HIM---yet, it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Last night, one of my sons and I planted a memorial flower garden in the back yard and dedicated it to Jake (his name, I called him Jakers).

It is so hard to remember that God only lets us have them for a certain period of time. When they are young and/or healthy it is easy not to think about this.

I think that both you and I have to know that they are in gentle peace and that our pain will eventually soften to our fond memories of them and what we shared with them.

Please accept my heart-felt condolences and I wish I were there with you right now so that we could cry together and exchange hugs.

Very sincerely, Otie

McHurting · Member

Otie - Sorry for your loss as well, they really do become part of your family. Sometimes your only family.

My poor pooch, Bone (formerly known as Kujo) was a rescue and not even 4 years old, abused, not socialized with many health problems. I did my best to stabalize his allergies and re-socialize him but fear aggression is not an easy thing to reverse. He developped bacteria infections due to the steroids for his allergies and the infections weren't responding to treatment. In the beginning I tired to save his life and he ended up saving mine with his goofy ways and unconditional love. Until of course the very end (after 3 years) when we had to part ways; his final resting place is a nice spot out in the country. It is a very hard thing to do but it was still done out of love for them.

(((((((Hugs all around))))))))

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

So sorry to hear about your Dane. We had them in our family for many years. Sad they don't live long! I was shocked when I lost my beloved Basset that getting a puppy right away helped me so much. Someone just gave me one. It was not planned. I am telling you it was so much easier on my heart to have that puppy. I still have my Tavish now, name meants beloved.I hope you can do this.

yes red tape is horrible. Then people mess it up. If you can get the doc more the manager of the office write you a letter, I invite you to make copies. They do have to have proof. I know it is NO time to do this stuff. You are grieving and have had enough. I guarentee once it is done you will feel better.

I am sad to hear about your dads health being so bad. It has to be very hard on you. Hoping you care for yourself gently.

Wish I knew you, I would love to put a puppy in your arms. I carried Tavish around so much he would not walk! My mother had just died from b cancer, husband had a brain tumor removed and was brain damaged. So my boy means so so so much to me. He still

heals my heart, has slept next to me for 8 years now.

love, glad you are here, debilyn

McHurting · Member

Thanks Debilyn - I was estranged with my father for several years prior to his accident...his accident was fuelled by his alcoholism, he was denied welfare then felt sorry for himself and got smashed faced enough to fall down the stairs. On the one hand I know he did it to himself, on the other hand I've been cleaning up his freaking messes since I was barely old enough to whipe my own butt (on top of the abuse) and stopped rescueing him years ago - why am I back here? I know the answer to that but that's not for today.

I dunno, I think the hardest part is that he's recovered enough since September 2010 that the docs think he could live with some assistance on his own. To that it was said if he's that okay why did you insist on a POA - let him fill out the all paperwork and let him walk out. They had to back peddle on that part as they might very well being sued if someting were to happen. I know my father, he is not okay in the cognitive sense, he'd let the place burn down around him before he'd think to pick up a phone and call for help.

Although I have a hard time wanting 'take care of yet another one of his f*ck ups' I also don't want him slipping through the cracks and end up, well, dead or in my charge. I guess that's the 'compassion past the anger' part or just me not wanting this to fall once again in my lap. I'm not the answer to my families disasters; of which there are many. A psycological assessment was requested to see about getting him on disability assistance.

I thought about getting a new puppy but think I'll hold off for a little while, I still have three other furry friends (cats) that help me through some of the loneliness and have many reno projects currently on the go.

I thought about taking up juggling so I could do it literallty and figuratively ;)

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Mc Hurting,

I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved pet. My condolences for your father as well. It sounds like you are practicing good self care going to your first alanon meeting. I do so hope you will continue through six meetings before making a decision as to whether or not alanon is for you.

{{{in support}}}

Tommye

kandikween · Member

Yes I am also ready to move on, and am trying to help my mom do the same.

When and if my dad gets to come home from the hospital, he will have to have a completely differnt diet. So I had to clear out most everything in the kitchen, some things with staggering amounts of sodium. This change is scary and I have no idea what to expect with a sober dad as he has been drinking fo forty years.

Also cleaning out the garage and helping her set up a garage sale while at the same time trying to plan for my boyfriends birthday which is tomorrow! This is all very hard for us still as we are travelers and normally not in one place too long.

Also have court dates on the 16th which i'm not looking forward to, and i can't tell my mom about lol.

I definatly feel like a juggler too. oh almost forgot the greatest things about all of this is my mom is getting a new puppy as well. we already have a chiuaua and a cat here, this puppy is a chiuaua shitzu mix. I've had a couple dogs put down in my life, it's pretty much one of the worst hurts ever. sorry for your loss

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