The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, my active a hubby asks me.. What am I doing wrong? Well, I don't freakn know, I'm not in his head, I don't know why he makes bad decisions.
However, that question he asked me made me take a look at myself. What am "I" doing wrong?
1. I'm letting his issues become mine.
2. I'm also telling my business to some people not on the program.
Aha moment for me, yet again. I gotta shake the dust off of my alanon tools and get my head straight again.
Sincerely,
Aloha Sincerely...knowledgeable share...grateful. I remember only one answer to that question "What am I doing wrong?" and it was given to me by an early sponsor kinda sorta on the same point and his response to me was "What are you going to do with the answer?" He always asked me questions so that I could think myself toward better consequences.
The best referral my alcoholic ex-wife got for that question was toward AA and other recovering alcoholics who could give honest and sincere and supportive Experience, Strength and Hope. The best I could do in response was "I don't know, you gotta go tell someone else what's going on and then ask them for their feedback". Course I wasn't able to even think that response until I had over 5 years in the AFG.
Your turn about on the question with those three fingers point back at your self is what works for those truely interested in changing their own lives and outcomes.
I love this share because it's reminding me of how my Higher power used my alcoholic husband to bring me to my knees.... so that I would finally surrender to HP..... and how amazing my life has been, thanks to al-anon. I was also taught how to not hate my alcoholic, but to accept responsibility for all my suffering... so that we could remain friendly after the divorce. The old me could NEVER have imagined this, never knew how NOT to be a victim.
Your determination to reconnect with HP inspires me, I'm so glad you're here with us...... welcome back!!
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thank you. This helped me today, too. When I woke up today I just laid in bed for a while as ususal, and tried to start with positive thoughts instead of victimizing myself and projecting disasters. This makes me think too about just focusing on getting to know myself. I have spent years just trying to understand the alcoholic...now I wonder, who am I? How can I become the person I want to be?
