New at this! - Al-Anon Family Group

ErinMVo · Newbie

New at this!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi ErinMVO Welcome to MIP

Living with the disease of alcoholism, as you have done causes us to be affected by the same illness. We loose ourselves, focus all our energy on someone else and become lost. It is very painful to experience that loss when you separate.

I urge you to find Alanon face to face meetings in your community Here you will find support for yourself, learn constructive tools to find yourself and break the isolation that has been holding you a prisoner.

Help with finding local meetings near where you live may be found at the following web site:http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html Or call: 1-888-Alamo

Keep comimng back here and stay connected. You are worth it.

-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 2nd of August 2011 09:16:52 AM

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs Erin,

You are not alone. Something I had to do for myself and even my relationship was start taking responsibility for my part in it. I'm not talking about my A's drinking is my fault. That is my A's stuff. I had to take my part of what my unhealthy behaviors were regarding my relationship. My A isn't a horrible person. I dislike the addiction part and the constant chaos it can bring, however my A is a nice guy. He just happens to be an A.

I felt I knew what was best for him, how to make him better and so on. I excused some really unhealthy behavior (on his side and rationalized away my own unhealthy behavior) that had I not had alanon this go round I probably would still be on my emotional merry go round. For me what made a huge difference was f2f meetings. I started to recognize what my own unhealthy behaviors and start working on myself. I was just tired, what I had been doing just was not working for me.

I have no doubt if I tried to go out into the dating world right now I'm not healthy enough to make a good choice. If someone had a room full of 100 men and 2 were addicts .. oh those would be the 2 I would find. It doesn't make me a bad person it just means I'm still working on myself so I can make healthier choices. Whatever happens between my A and myself, I know I have to be in a healthier place because I'm worth the time and work it takes to be the best me possible. It's weird to because I'm not the only one who benefits from that mind set everyone around me does too.

Now is the best time to work on you, especially in the single set. You are so not alone. :) P :)

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Erin)))
Glad you made it here! I love the two responses you got already here and I just wanted to add that for me, going to alanon has helped me feel better. I work on myself and I learning to make better choices and healthier decisions. I go to the meetings and I finally got a sponsor to see me through. I am addicted to my addict and if he weren't around I would certainly be going through withdrawals, and that is what it sounds like you are doing with the remorse etc. for not having your A around. Come into alanon, there is a chair there waiting for you. The books that have helped me too are: COurage to Change, One day at a time in alanon and Getting Them Sober. Take care of you! You are not alone :)

ErinMichelle · Newbie

Thanks everyone so much! I was so nervous to actually post on here but the responses are amazing and I think this is exactly what I need! This is awful and I hope in time I wil find the strenght to move on but this time now I am going to focus on myself! Thanks you all are great this was a great decision!!!!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.