The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Things are have changed alot since my very first post. I was sick and tired of everything then. I was so lost and helpless not to mention confused. I loved my AH but hated him wanted him home but wanted him out etc.
I cried and cried. One night I was so engulfed w/ grief and pain I just prayed to my HP. Really prayed. I prayed for sanity and to take away all this hurt from me.
It took some time but gradually it got me to where I am now and will hopefully keep me going in a direction where I will try everyday to better myself.
Don't get me wrong, not everything has been perfect. Its still been a tough road and I still have plenty of work to do on myself. However, its a vast improvement.
I no longer worry about my AH. Is he w/ someone else? Is he thinking about me? Is he drinking? Is he dead? lol Doesn't he care?
Now I just worry about me and my baby.I feel so free!!! I've been keeping busy spending time w/ friends having fun playing w/ my daughter. I know I will see my AH in court soon but I'm looking forward to that day because I'm hoping that the courts will be fair to the both of us.
I just wanted to share this w/ ya'll because how I feel now is seriously a MIRACLE. If you would have known me then and knew how much I loved my AH and what sacrifices I would make for him all the things that I have put up with you would definitely agree that this is a MIRACLE!!!!
Believe in yourselves.. someone shared a quote w/ me today "You never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have to be"
XOXO
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I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.
Hugs and glad you posted an update!! So glad things are going better that's such a great feeling when that happens :)
Hugs again P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Dear betterfuture, I, too, am glad to hear from you. I am so happy that the clouds are finally clearing for you. You have worked hard and been very determined. I remember your origional posts.
I am certain that your determination to make changes in your (and daughter's) best interest will have an influence on some others on the board.
Your husband may find his own recovery down the road.
Keep in touch. We care and you may be able to share with others, also.
