Well, another court date came and this time the lawyer screwed up because AH was suppose to be in court so take a wild guess what I will be doing Monday in the AM. Truthfully, to hear exactly what will be said makes it all worth while.  I need to know $$, how much will this cost exactly.  I don't know I might be off the hook for driving sooner than later .. yeah me!!  It would be a serious God send not to have to do 100% of the driving when the kids go back to school.  We used to do this as a team I dropped off and AH would pick up unless he was working late.  At least he could do the after school stuff. 

I think the biggest frustration I am having is that the kids have to be registered for school this week.  The questions I need to have answered are not being asked, I guess if he doesn't ask them the reality will be different?  I don't know what else to think.  It's now down to the financial aspect of things for me.  I really don't care what he has to do or not do with his own stuff.  If he doesn't do it then the consequences are on him.  I'm not concerned about that, he's a grown up and it's all spelled out. My focus is the kids, what do they need for school, supplies, clothes, fees and I need to know what kind of money I have to work with.  My kids go back to school in 2 weeks.  So we aren't talking I have another 4 weeks to think about this I kind of need to get on it. 

At the same time I gotta give the guy credit for the fact he's doing the best he can.  Considering he's locked down emotionally.  That's the part that I can tell the eruption is building.  He needs a pressure release.  It used to be the alcohol.  He actually talked about the DUI yesterday a lot for him and I really did well to refraining from doing to much commenting or questioning. That in itself is progress on both sides. When I started feeling the need or I felt that I was saying to much I was able to leave the situation, just to stop myself,  he was grilling so I would fix the salad or throw something in the microwave to heat up.  Which when I would go back out he would continue which was fine, I needed that moment to take a breath and remind myself it's more important that he have his release than me be right.  I can already see there are some flaws in his thinking.  Now that he's understanding he's going to have consequences, he's now on to the eval and how he's not going to have to do anything with that, they will see he doesn't have an issue.  Well, .. I just think to myself .. these people are professionals they have seen it all and I am trusting they are going to see the truth of his situation.  He still doesnt' understand that he could be required to go to treatment.  I don't think he fully gets that at all. 

I'm so grateful I have a meeting I can go to on Sunday.  I need my attitude adjusted .. lol.  I'm still without a sponsor, however I'm really hoping that comes.  It's just hard because we are so limited on meetings.  I'm just grateful I an come here as well and get so much of this out without taking it out on my family. 

Thanks P :)