My A came home for an hour break from his new job due to rain.  I haven't been very enthusiastic lately in regards to him.  I asked him three months ago about the birth control situation and let him know I am hoping he will take care of it permanently.  He agreed and said he would make the call.  He said he would start his meetings again, that he would do the parenting program we have etc, etc.

I have talked with him about moving recently since his words are not matching his actions at all.  I think our son is in a new place and could handle it much better if we weren't together now.  I am suprised I have moved in that direction actually.

He asked if I still want him to move today and I let him know that with his new job and paycheques coming in that makes things easier to make the move.

He was less than impressed.  I calmly let him know that my responsibilitues are piling up lately with his lack of action in many areas.  I am not interested in picking up any of his responsibilities so he can slack off in life.   If he is working late, going to meetings or meeting any responsibilities in life I would not have a problem with it at all.  I let him know this.

He shared a few of his fears, and while I let him know I understand fear, I am not interested in taking on his responsibilities for him so he can avoid the feeling of fear. I am not interested in enabling him to stay in this comfortable yet uncomfortable state emotionally, while I take on so much.  This does not work for me.

No more excuses for not being in recovery.  If he doesn't want his program that's entirely his decision.  It is also mine to choose not to be with an A that rejects recovery.

He listened and said he would get it together.  Time will tell.  I am proud I said what I needed to say in a calm non threatening way.  

Time to leave it with HP and see where it is taken.  That is the hard part.