The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I Hit My F2F Meeing last night and it was Awesome ;) It was About Choices...
I have to say that Before Al-anon/ACOA my Choices in my Mind were Limited to the thoughts and Pleasures of others, I thought as long as Everyone around me was Happy then I too was Happy... Since al-anon I have learned it was all Just False Hope, False Understanding on My part due to the Needs & wants of others...It really had nothing at all to do with me!
The Shares around that table was awesome, I learned so much in just that little amount of time and I have noticed that the More I go to my Meetings the More Serene I can feel, and the More Clearer things become...
My First year in Al-Anon I don't know that I "Heard" much of what others were saying, and some would come in and say the same things every week, and I thought... WOW... Change the Topic! lol... But Now, I Get it! Now I Understand that the reason they speak of the same things is because they are "Stuck" and maybe just need a little more time to "Hear" what others are saying... Or at least that is what it was For ME!
I've Learned that the Longer I am here the More it all begins to make sense, and the closer I become to my HP... I have always been a Spiriatual Person, but this Program has taking that to a Whole New Level for me, and knowing that I have a HP (Of My Understanding) has been a blessing as well, due to the fact that My HP before Program has always been in honor of My Grandma in Heaven... Now I have the Best of Both Worlds.. I have Grandma & an Even Deaper understanding of my HP!
Learning to Live Happy Joyous & Free is a True Blessing... I Never seen Coming..lol.. This weekend I am Having a Birthday Party for my Son and he is having a Sleep over in tents at our Property at the River with a Nice Group of Kids, All Teenagers :) ... I don't know who is More excited Him or I... I love interacting with him & his Friends, and Most I have watched Grow from Kindergarten so we have been Very blessed to have such a Small Community with close friends. Most of their Parents have become good friends of mine over the years, With Sports & Car pulls, so not only did my Son Gain Friendships as did I!
Before Al-anon I didn't really know how to be a Friend with out Being Overbarring, or Overwelmed trying to please all.. Now I can Have Boundry's that keep Me just as Happy as them! And we truly can Enjoy what Lies ahead... I have accepted that I am Not Perfect, and I don't Have to be... I can Slip like the next person, and I do often, but this program has really brought me around to a better way of thinking, and most definately a better way of living. I Can Now Accept them for Who they are, and Not who I wished theyed be... I Nice place to be ;)
When I got Here I was Very Uncomfortable speaking up, speaking out, & being accepting of Who & What I Came from! (A Slew of Alcoholics) I was Ashamed of My Past, and My Upbringing, and the Disease Lives on in my Family Everyday... I am Now OK with that... I quit Drinking Last October, and have shown myself that I do have Strength within... I Can do what ever it is I put my Mind to regardless of the choices of those around me! I can Say NO to Alcohol because I have learned that No is a Full Sentence, I don't have to explain, I don't have to Justify why I'm Not Drinking, or Not Babysitting, or Not Perticipating in the Drama of others. I can just be Me! Be Accepting of the Next Best thing, and regardless of what others have to say, I now understand the statement! "Mean what you Say, Say what you Mean, but you Don't have to Say it Mean!"
Before Program, I remember fighting "Literaly" with my Baby Abrother over his addiction to alcohol/drugs... Now I Drank! BUT... I Seen myself as a Responsibile Drinker because I held a Job, Paid my Bills, and still had money to spare for my Addiction... Truth be known, I was taking care of those things, but I was a Far Cry from a Responsible Drinker, I blacked out, most of my days I had to be told what happened because I had no Idea! but Because He was Worse off then Me! I Felt the Need to Judge him and his drinking so I didn't have to look at my own! I could see his... just not mine...
I was Living in that "Grey Area" i have often heard about... It Still is funny to me tho the Amount of People that almost act as if I'm Insulting them by Not Drinking... But I don't have to own that, and I can accept that they are just Not at the same place I am, and May never be! and that OK! Since I have Slowly been learning the tools of the program, I am also learning alot more about me, and what I truly want out of life, and one things for sure, I'm Here to stay.. I need this Program like most need air... I Need to know that I Can, And this Program has Gifted me that...
I came in a brokin young lady, and Plan to Continue on my Lifes Journey, Just One Day at a Time... Coming up this Fall Is our Yearly Al-Anon Convension I am So Excited and this will be my 3rd Year... It Truly does Work if you work it, and i have to say if ever you get to chance to go to one of these convension... DO IT! My 1st on was a Little Scarey, only because I had lost my ADad within a Year of it and I Remember Sitting in about every meeting Crying my Eyes out, and i was So Tired... But the Peace that those Tears Brought to my Life, and the Calm & Acceptance I was Given in those Tears, was Something I just can't explain! I have met some great Friends that I keep up with from the Convension, and being open to it, has opened me up to a whole new World...
Jozie as always wonderful share thanks so much for being here :) Love it!! :)
P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Oh you are soooo not the person who first came here...not even close. I am so grateful you did and allowed me and other to witness how you have done it...what was going on with you then, what you discovered about how to change it and what you do now. More tools for others...You know you're loved. (((((hugs)))))
