The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Two weeks ago I lost my job. No severance, and my former employer is going to fight my unemployment claim.
I have been considering leaving my AH. Unfortunately, these events will make that impossible.
As any one of us could have predicted, his drinking is escalating. I have reason to believe that he has started drinking one can of beer during his drive home, and he then finishes off the six pack over the course of the evening. I have no interest in policing whether he is drinking while he drives; that is his business, and I only care about it insofar as it increases the risk that the kids and I will be up 'xxxx' creek without a paddle if he gets pulled over and goes to jail.
This job loss means that we need to move about an hour north of where we live now, since I have no income and his job is 60 miles away. I am praying to my HP to show me my path for a new job, and a path for coping with being farther away from my daughters from my first marriage. I am also trusting my HP to give my ex husband the wisdom and compassion to be cooperative about the move.
After a few very tough days, I had been doing better. Today has been a disaster, and I am a complete wreck. I'm trying so hard to give things over to my HP, but man, it's tough.
-- Edited by canadianguy on Thursday 21st of July 2011 09:18:10 PM
sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Hugs again. P ;)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Sorry to hear about the job, but you have a good grounding of your recovery, and a great toolset (and support group) for using them.... If it doesn't feel right, maybe it's not..... remember, making life changing decisions in the midst of real chaos is a difficult task..... One Day at a Time (or one hour, or one minute)...
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Hugs. You're in a tough spot but it sounds like you are handing it over to your HP. Something will come up and you will be ready to receive it. Have faith!
((((HUGS)))) Stephanie!!! I hope you are making it to face to face meetings, talking with people after the meeting and getting phone numbers to call so you don't feel so alone. Often when I voice whats going on in my head to my alanon friend, she can help me see it a different way. Come on here and post too. Take care of you!
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
Dear Stephanei, times are tough--so, you get to be tougher!
The biggest enemy, right now is fear. I have been in the job loss situation, and the only thing that helped me was to hurl myself 24/7 into finding the next best job I could--that gives the feeling of being more in control, thus lessening the grip of fear.
One time I quit a job that I needed because I discovered something very illegal going on in the company. I contested the denial of unemployment at the unemployment office---and won. As a direct result of that job loss---I found my dear husband!!! Never would have happened if I had stayed where I was.
Steph, I thought you could use a real-life success story right now.
