The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last week I attended only one al-anon meeting, though obviously I have been on this message board several times weekly. I do some al-anon reading every day. I try to remember to pray every morning, at the very least. There are weeks when I am able to attend 2-3 meetings. The challenge is that I have a 1 year old, work a full-time job, and my husband has his meetings every evening. I have a sponsor, but feel like I need a different one (after much deliberation about my motives and growth).
I am not sure what is enough, in terms of my program efforts. My sponsor thinks I should be attending many weekly meetings, since she "has been in it for 8 years and is going to 3 meetings a week."
What do all of you do?
Gratitude,
KLotus
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"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself."
Way to work your program :) I have heard it said it is no different for us than the A's 90 days/ 90 meetings. I have challenges myself regarding f2f's because of summer and the kids being out of school. It's one of the reasons I am up on the boards so much is it fills in where I am missing my meetings, I know when I need to hit a f2f as well. I def drop what I'm doing and go. I'm between 1-2 a week and it just depends on the week and what I need. I'm also reading my books outside of Alanon lit and that is also grounding for me as well.
Hugs, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks for your post, it is a reminder to me that while we all work the same program and working towards thats same miracle, it is up to us how we work our program. It reminds me we now have choices that we can take a step back, apply what we have learned and make the choice that is best for us. You have the choice of a new sponsor, to go to as many meetings as you want or need. It is suggested the 90 meetings in 90 days, it's a suggestion not an order. If you are unable to get to 3 meetings a week or you would like more meetings but can't logistically do it. Remember that we have meetings here twice daily, they are awesome with many people that have a lot of recovery under thier belt and all are encouraged to share. Basically you have choices, sounds like you are on the right track so keep workin it ! You are worth it! Blessings
I don't have a sponsor yet, but the person I am talking with in alanon has encouraged me by giving me ideas on how to get to meetings with my crazy summer schedule with the kids and working full time. I haven't gotten to a meeting in a couple weeks because of my kid's schedules. This week, I am making it no matter what on Wednesday. I need it! Maybe you can let your sponsor know whats up and why you aren't able to get to meetings as much as she is, but that you come here and read and like Xeno said, you can try an online meeting at 9pm or 9am week days. Take care of you! Keep coming! :) HUGS!
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
Aloha Klotus...I heard early on that "Al-Anon was a way of life" and "what I do with it affects everyone I come in contact with" and both have become fact to me. If I stay away from meetings I revert (relapse) back to old behavior patters and firstly separate from my Higher Power choosing to take that job again by myself. I "relapse" and for me that isn't acceptable. I know how bad I got without the program and I remember all the old tricks I use to use to maintain power and control of people, places and things. My insanity was real...not imagined...I lived it and in it and then had enough of it. I guess the most valueable "enough" for me was my past pre-recovery insanity. I won't go back there again if at all possible. An hour or even two on any day is nothing compared to the amount of time I can live in insanity. Some people get use to and addicted to insanity...they never get enough of it. I only have one reason to stay in the program and that one reason is enough.
Klotus, what a great topic! Thanks for posting this.
I myself find it necessary to attend seven Alanon meetings per week. I live with active alcoholism and being a member in good standing in my home group, holding service positions, and meeting with my sponsor on a weekly basis for lunch has been central to my recovery. I have two little children as well, but work part time. I understand how difficult it is to get to meetings. When the kids are sick, I have to give my meetings a miss too. What I will say is that this program works if you work it.
My sponsor who has been in alanon for I think 35 years goes to two meetings a week in my homegroup for which there are 22 Alanon meetings. She has a strong spiritual program and it is evident that she work the steps and practices the principals of the program on a daily basis. She does not live in active alcoholism, so two meetings a week seem to do the job for her. Everyone is different so finding how many meetings you need per week is really strickly up to you. As a sponsor to others I only suggest more meetings to a sponsee or direct their attention to a step if what they are getting out of the program isn't working for them. I would not feel comfortable telling a sponsee I go to "X" number of meetings per week, so should you. We all get what we need in meetings. If you need more, go to more. Sponsors are like clothes, if they don't suit you, then change them.
Great question! I realized I've been wondering this same thing, being new to the program myself.
Honestly, I have been going to face-to-face meetings only once per week. I've also been doing counseling on my own about once per week and reading daily, journaling, massage and doing other self care activities - tai chi, yoga, walking, going to the beach, visiting with friends and family. I am working on me every day, it's just not always Alanon face-to-face meetings.
Maybe I'm kidding myself, but I don't feel like it's necessary for me to go to the meetings every day. This pace is probably more sustainable and realistic for me. The thing I do want to prioritize next is finding a sponsor because I know I'm missing that part.
I guess in a way, I feel good about me at least I'm trusting my instincts and feeling really good about finding my own way for progress with Alanon and my whole mix of personal growth right now.
