The material presented
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The other night I sat across from a kid...getting arrested for spray painting on some builidings. He is 15. They sat him in the corner, while waiting on his mom and stepdad to come down, to start some questioning . As he sat there, with his long hair, skinny long arms, wiggling and nervous....I couldn't help but think of my son. The parents were called...and asked to come down...the mom said, but my dinner just is in the oven, if I come down now it will get cold...etc. crappy,,,whinning about being inconveinced, etc... I saw these parents arrive...and looked at them walking up and my stomach got sick....They walked (did not drive) to the police station because the step dad was drunk and the mom was high..they were also barefooted walking up as slow as possible like they could care less. All I could think about was this is what that boy knows and hears....probalby over and over again....that they don't care anything about him, just care about their stinkin dinner. (and of course we know what else). Come to find out, this kid has raised himself basically..parents have had addictions problems for years. Now the kid is in to bad stuff, selling, etc. Well duh? What else does he know. I asked, once this kid started getting into trouble, did anyone look into getting some help for him...defax..social services....anything? Unfortunaltey, no help was given- one excuse or another was used. To old for defax, to busy, and there was another service called that basically said its up to you..etc. So this kid will probaly end up in jail sooner or later.
It made me so sad and depressed I had to leave. The police layed into the parents, but not much else could be done.
I often think, what if I had stayed with my A. I got so sick, at times I could not care for my child. I was so depressed. Thank God for my parents. Thank God for Al-anon and my sponser and HP. I can't help but think what little time that I was with my A, how that affected my child. I hope he forgives me for that time someday.
I so understand what you mean. Our youth is all getting caught and left in the crossfire of our society. No personal responsibility and yet when people try and find help. If you don't know what questions to ask it's a dead end situation for all.
Hugs, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thank you for your post. Certainly prayers for this poor child One the other hand, my husband and I both came from addictive, chaotic homes. When we had children we were going to do things different that was for sure. We even moved our family when our kids were young, not because we didn't love our families we did and not to cut them out of our lives because we wanted our children to know all thier family. But to get them away from the daily drama and chaos etc. Our children grew up without seeing what addiction does. We were very involved parents and very loving. But our son turned to drugs anyway and is now an addict. Genetically he drew the short straw for sure. And not understanding that because my husband and I grew up with this disease our behaviors, thinking, and coping skills were dysfunction we definitly passed those along to our children. Had I known/understood how this disease had affected us so deeply I would have been front and center of every alanon meeting I could get to when our children were born. We love our children unconditionally and although adults now my son ( our A ) will still hold my hand in public and hugs without embarassment. Because thats how he was raised. If love could cure this disease it would be cured, we all know that Not all A's come from families like the one you witnessed..Hope you keep that in mind Blessings
I know what you mean, thanks Lou. I often wonder how much my kids were affected by what happened when I lived with my abusive ex-husband. I know I had a part in it, so I am working on that now with alanon. I just remember to look them in the eyes, give them the time of day, hug them and tell them I love them all the time. Thanks again. I hope this boy can see the light of day some day....
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
