Question about relapse - Al-Anon Family Group

AnnieMar · Member

Question about relapse

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you'll also read through the threads on this site and look for a face-to-face meeting. Knowledge is power when it comes to addiction!

Yes, it is very common for addicts to switch their addictions around. Denial is a feature of addiction -- they deny to themselves that their behavior is serious or harmful -- so it doesn't seem surprising that he would start doing this without fully acknowledging it to himself. The sick mind makes great excuses for itself, to itself. That said, it's a huge step that he admitted it, without your even knowing anything about it, and that he's going to meetings. If he was in recovery before but stopped going to meetings, that leads to erosion of recovery, and if he's never been to meetings before, it's even less surprising that he slipped. Either way, he seems to be trying to get on track in a way we all hope for our addicted loved ones.

Addictive behavior tends to suck in others around it, even when we don't realize our own behavior has become dysfunctional. So it helps us to go into recovery and learn better ways of living and coping too. I hope you'll keep taking care of yourself by learning about addiction here and at meetings and by keeping the focus on your own life. (Not to say that needing to know what you're dealing with isn't essential and helpful and urgent.)

So glad you found us here. Best wishes and keep coming back.

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

I understand your confusion. Here's the good news he came to you and went immediately back on his program. Personally, my two cents, I agree with him while he was taking your medicine he was not sober and it qualifies to me as not being sober.

He needs a lot of credit for recognizing he had started down a slippery path and self corrected as well as took responsibility for his actions. My a had an addiction counselor who said to both of us. He's going to slip it's more important for him to be able to recognize it get back on his program and move forward.

Hugs and remember to let his sobriety be his responsibility. ;)

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Hey this is a perfectly valid question hon.

YES he knew it was wrong, he was getting off on it. Remember they lie and they manipulate, plus he was stealing from you.

That does not mean he is a bad person, he is an addict. All the body know is it is absorbing a drug whether it is heroin, xanax, alcohol, whatever. The affects may not be the same but the stress on the body is.

We don't know what he is doing now anyway. It's not the issue. He uses, he is in relapse. Not watching them 24 hours a day, they are sneaky. If he is doing this, he will do whatever drug becuz he is an addict.

Ok here is a typical scenerio. You find your pills are gone. You tell him. He may say "I don't know what happened, I didn't know you had them. Can you get more?"

Or "You think I took them, I know you do, well I didn't", as xanax is pouring out of his mouth......"and besides that YOU are crazy!'

Oh no! the babysitter? Someone came into our house! Whatever.

His disease is his business. I say drop the rock. Let it go,we can do nothing.

I hid my meds in my Raggedy Ann"s bloomers! lol Hey it worked! Many have to lock them in a metal box. I could take out two for a migraine, go to the kitchen to get water, they would be gone.

If I had them in my purse, gone. I had a very serious condition that caused pain, yet he would take them all. Yep.

I rarely take stuff. I hate narcotics, am allergic to nsaids, so I have had some major drugs before. I had to get rid of them as they were way passed their end date.

Are you able to go to meetings? I am so glad you come here. Please feel free to share anything! Ask anything. We never get tired of giving and getting support even if we have heard it a million times. We all know you, and love you already!

Get a doll with bloomers and hide them! (c: love,debilyn

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

My sister has been a recovering alcoholic since 1989. Recently, she admitted to me of abusing pain medication. She did it for years, but now she wants to stop.

Personally, I don't get wrapped up in determining if she should consider herself sober for 30+ years since she hasn't consumed any alcohol, but has consumed drugs for pain. I focus on the fact that she does abstain from alcohol and now admits she has a problem with pain meds and needs to do something about that. (I don't get wrapped up in labels any more.)

As suggested, Al-Anon is truly one way of staying on the right track for you.

-- Edited by GailMichelle on Sunday 17th of July 2011 12:12:26 PM

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Annie Mar,

I myself dont have any experience with a loved one turning toward prescription drugs for relief. I just wanted to introduce myself and welcome you to this forum in the hopes that you will begin to feel part of the MIP family here.

Thank you for your post today. I do so hope you will continue to share with us.

Yours in recovery,

Tommye

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi and welcome here :)
I am glad you are here. I hope you are attending alanon meetings for you! Keep coming! You are worth it :)

AnnieMar · Member

Thank you all so much for your replies, and for being so welcoming. And Debilyn, you made me really laugh out loud with the bloomers! I had actually hidden my remaining Xanax in a box of sanitary pads yesterday. :) I am going to go back and slowly re-read all your kind and informative replies, and take them all in, but I just wanted to say how grateful I am to all of you. And Mattie, what you said about 'erosion of recovery' makes a lot of sense. Because he said he never really completed the 12 steps, or kept on going to meetings all these years, even though he hasn't touched a drink in all that time. So I think 'erosion' is a good way to describe what must have been going on, even though he was/is highly functional. But the alcoholic behavior was still there simmering underneath.

Thank you all again.

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