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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Finally!!
Post Info TOPIC: Finally!!
Pushka


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Finally!!
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I feel like a 2 ton elephant has been lifted off of my shoulders, the DUI for me is finally coming to an end.  If you ask my husband, it's unfair because it hasn't ended for him.  Well, as someone pointed out it's not MY DUI!!  Come October I am free, it's all on him!  The infamous offer has arrived and I am so relieved it's truly everything I had prayed about, thank you Jesus. 

Now my next trick is how to keep my big ol' mouth shut, super glued shut, no gloating, no ha ha'ing, just it now is and will be according to the court of law. I was able to say what I needed to say to him.  It's time to let it go.  I was able to do it with love, caring and no anger.  No need to beat the dead horse.  It's ALL on him now. 

I feel sorry for my AH because all of a sudden he is fully comprehending what the cost is now.  That had been something he kept saying through out the whole ordeal was "It hasn't cost us anything." That statement really bugged me because as I've posted before how do you put a cost on trust, love, respect?  Then it dawned on me yesterday, he's never had to pay for a DUI NEVER, this is technically his 3rd.  His dad and s/mom have always bailed him out and this time his dad bailed him out!  I wonder why he thinks it "hasn't cost him anything".  Guess what, it is now.  Thankfully, we have a few things wrapping up so we'll be ok, yes it sucks to think it's going to be money going for that and not fun stuff.  You know what, I'm actually glad.  Maybe now that "it's finally cost him something".  He's having to face the situation and kicking and dragging take a little responsibility. NOW it's all on the courts. 

Anyway, hugs to you guys and gals thank you for listening to me obsess and ramble on about this particular situation.  Not that it's done totally it's just done for me!!  biggrin 

Now it's time for a dancing house cleaning party!!  Have a wonderful day all :)



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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
GailMichelle


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Hi Pushka,

I sense the relief you feel. I hope the worst is over for you.

When my ex-AH began "fully comprehending" what all his disease has cost him, I did not feel sorry for him. I think it's necessary for him to feel the consequences; he can't make changes for the good if he is oblivious to them and the emotional pain.

Here's hoping that your husband is on his way to making better choices, too.



-- Edited by GailMichelle on Saturday 16th of July 2011 12:37:03 PM

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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
Debilyn


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(c:



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
tommyecat


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Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, were free at last.

Martin Luther King



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youfoundme


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YEAH! My bf is feeling the pain of his DUI, he is finally a year and a half and lots of his own money later getting his license back in August... I actually dread the day. I don't know it its been enough to keep him from doing it again.
Glad it over for the most part :) HUGS!

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-youfoundme

Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
Pushka


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Yfm, the biggest reason I knew I had to get to alanon because I knew my reprieve would be short term. Honestly, I'm scared to death. The reality is it's now all on him. What I do know is that there are things I'm willing to do and things I'm not. Driving him for 5 years is not on my bucket list of things to do. yes I'm scared that it will happen again, I remind myself he knows what the consequences are legally, I've not spoken aloud my resolve. it's got to be his want to be and stay sober. Hugs :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Finally!!