Prescription Meds Update - Al-Anon Family Group

HarleyRyder · Newbie

Prescription Meds Update

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Ryder she is right and then you do have choices to make of your own only one of which is to stay in the problem. Another good one is to get to another meeting. We learn more when we get to the "next one". Next time you talk with your HP ask if something special can be done about your addicts fear of recovery. Keep coming back (((hugs))) smile

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

Ryder,

Keep going to meetings. Listen and apply what you hear. Even though you will be effected by her decision you have no control over anyone but you. Turning her over to your HP and getting out of their way is the best thing you can do for yourself and your wife. She is going to do what she is going to do. What's important is what you are going to do. My suggestion is jump into the program with both feet. Attend as many meetings as possible.....and listen, listen, listen to what worked for others. You are on the right track. Keep all the focus on you, and always take care of yourself first, controlling the only person you have control over.

RLC

Otie · Senior Member

Dear Harley, am I correct that you are struggling with setting your own boundries here?

Maybe it would help you if you posed the question within that context---what is in my own best interest here (given that the disease has trampled on you already)?

When we place the needs ( or wishes) of another ABOVE ourselves---to our own detriment, I think we just sink deeper in the quicksand of self destruction. I know these words sound harsh and ugly---but, Harley, it is an ugly disease that won't hesitate to eat everyone up.

This is the way I look at it, and I offer you my take only as food for your thoughts---as you are trying to deal with this difficult situation.

I hope some of it helps.

Please keep up the faith in yourself.

Sincerely, Otie

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

For me, I think the most helpful suggestion I had from my sponsor when I was struggling with my spouses addition was to live one day at a time. I was so busy suffering from the what ifs and they shoulds that I complete lost touch with what I needed to take care of in today. There is a saying in the face to face rooms of alanon. It is: Today is the tomorrow I worried that about yesterday.

So, if I can practice living one day at a time, take the next right action, and take it easy on myself my days seem to go much better.

In support,

Tommye

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

I can only agree with what the others have said. Keep going to meetings, keep working on you and read read read all the literature you can. The book One Day at a time in Alanon is so helpful. READ JULY 14!!!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

It is hard on us to come to know the truth that what they do is not our problem unless we accept it.

Meaning we have options to walk away, leave the room, put everything we don't want to lose in our name and more.

We cannot decide anthing for them, we cannot make them do anything, or not do anything, we cannot control them anymore that we can control the weather. If we try, it beats us up,makes us sick.

Their disease is their own. The DUI's, jail, being sick, losing money whatever.

Al Anon gives us tools how to live with them if we choose to.We do not do their inventory,if they use they use, what they use, how much, the consequences are all theirs.

If we decide to stay with them, we learn to just love them as is, make boundaries with consequences, protect ourselves, allow them the dignity to take care of their lives.

I know I don't want anyone else telling me what to do, if I am right or wrong, if I eat or not etc.

They are an adult,not a child. I relate to how you feel believe me. I would take the AH to rehab, took hours to drive there. Next day he took the VA van home. rrrrr

I realized it was totally up to him, He can get himself there if he wants it bad enough.

Then can only do it if they are ready. We cannot make them ready.

It is better for them if we take care of ourselves, and make it so their diseased behavior does not affect us.

You are doing great! Meetings are so healing in so many ways.

Glad you came here, love,debilyn

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

When I found myself spiraling over a decision my A made, I would find myself shoulding him which only opened a door to an arguement. When I let him and let him own the outcome and just stayed in the moment of my day of what I could control, life got easier. I turned my A over to my HP 100 times a day somedays until it got more natural and started lasting a full day. I am sending you strength and support! Keep working your program.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.