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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I am more than my worries!
Post Info TOPIC: I am more than my worries!
Katy


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I am more than my worries!
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Good morning Mip,

Our son is still making his own way in life, we do get updtaes, I believe he is living in a third residence now, my husband had the pleasure of him yesterday he went to see his dad as requested to sort out a mobile phone contract he has got in a mess with, I have declined to not get involved, hubbie does ask me what I think we should do, and I have chosen to say I think we should just let him sort it out himself, however hubbie is too stressed out to leave it be, and is trying his best to control our son, and getting stressed in the process when our son, doesn't turn up when he has promised and isn't taking seriously the situation he is getting himself into, on the up side hubbie said he feels our son is growing up slightly, he did appear to have given some thought to his future, and has admitted he thinks he made a big mistake taking this phone out on contract, it has been decided to let the contract run as it will be cheaper than what they are asking to be paid to end the contract.

I was really tired on Monday evening, I had been cycling in the day, swimming in the lake,and then I went to work, it was my alanon meeting too, and so I forced myself to go, there were newbies and also people I had never met before,  I didn't share I just listened, I mean really listened, I am finding this to be really helpful, it's actually sinking in my head that I have no use for my old coping strategies anylonger, and I am practicing that in all my affairs.

I am very chewed up about my son, and I know hubbie is too, and for the first time I am allowing myself and hubbie to deal with it in our own way, Hubbie is working none stop, he's not communicating with me, going into work early and coming home late, this is nothing new, but what is changing is me, for years and years I used to sit and fret about what I thought was happening I used to take everything so personally and could not be happy at all.

Today I did my usual thing, read courage to change, the first line, "How many days have I waisted? I don't want to be like that anymore, I also bought a new book on Monday "one day at a time in alanon".

I used to always be who I was because of how I allowed outside influences to affect me, I was never who I was through my own choices, today I can delight in knowing that I can be who I am  for me, I am so greatful for learning this from all you guys, 

Today I have a chance to practice my choices, wow, MY choices, I have been replacing sad thoughts of my son with happy ones, I don't own anyones life, I am only responsible for my own, what a difference a day makes, thats a song, 24 little hours, there is sunshine where there used to be rain!

regards

Katy

  x



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Katy
Loupiness


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Hi Katy,

Thanks for this. Sounds like you are doing a great job taking care of you! "I don't own anyone's life". Yes, ain't that the truth! I really struggle with that concept lately and keep reminding myself that my son is on his own path.

Blessings,
Lou

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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace.
~ Ronald Reagan~

Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't
~Marguerite Bro~
hotrod


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Hi Katy

Great post.. Thanks for sharing your growth. I was always obsessed with my worries and could not imagine having a life until everything I could worry about was fixed (impossible task).  Alanon tools taught me that I could have worries, and concerns but they did not have to dominate my thoughts and my life. I could take an action and let go of the results,  trusting HP, one day at a time.

I could replace worry with prayer and I could grow and change. Listen and Learn was also a powerful tool in my early recovery . Listening is an art.  I discovered that I never truly listened before alanon. I was always planning what I would say when someone else was speaking, however In program and meetings, I listen, let the words into my being, let them touch me and then respond. Much different way to connect.

Thanks again for the topic.



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Katy


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(((((((((Hotrod)))))))))))) I did that too, I used to plan what I would say while someone else was sharing, I have noticed too, that as I have become more alanoned I use I, more than he, them or they, my very dear friend who is just going through some personal problems, asks me for advice, and in the past I would feel I should, should her, I love them both to bits I have no experience and will not be interfering in their life, all I can share is what works for me, I like that I learnt to listen, I get taught new things, when my mind was closed I was depriving myself.

katy

 x



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Katy
Pushka


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Hugs katy,

Great share thank you :)

P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
youfoundme


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Katy, thanks for this awesome share and awareness! Love it :)

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-youfoundme

Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
Debilyn


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Katy your son is going to learn however he is. I can understand your wanting him to have a phone. If that gives you serenity, then good! Straight Talk thru Walmart is only $30 for 30 days, 1,000 of min and all that, the endless min etc is $45 for 30 days.

I am more concerned about you and husband. marriage is a living thing, has to be nurtured. My first husband and I claimed Sat or sun as our own.We had dates. his choice then mine. He liked to play pool so I did it. I was ok as I grew up with a pool table, that mostly was used to fold cloths on. hahaha

But it was FUN. I never will understand people who have a mate not "using" them!

I mean in a good way in ever sense of the word. I loved going to work with second ah. loved it. I can build a house if I want to all on my own electric and plumbing too!whoohoo!!

IN fact I just fixed my plumbing from kitchen sink in this cabin ...so proud.

My landlords love me. and me them (c:

Anyway think about how nice it would be to work on the friendship, go to dinner, movies, or just drive. picnics, massages, talking,laughing. pretty nightgowns, painting his toenails bright pink...no i never did that ahahaha

hugs hon, debilyn getting back on JW match on the 27th!! goen for it!

gotta share this, this is one guys profile heading

I want to settle down and grow up, have a good wife, be a good loving husband.....I decided all this when I was in my fort!

lollollol I gotta talk to this guy!!!



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"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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