being new - Al-Anon Family Group

vizslame · Member

being new

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs and it does get easier, please don't feel alone all of us have been there done that and then do it again at times. :)

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

hey go ahead and share. ONE thing at a time. tiny steps with no expectations works for me.

I sure know the feeling. What I do is look for the priority, the primary obstacle and start there.

I make a circle on paper, put the primary obstacle to work on in the middle. Then I make rays out from that and put everything else.

Then I look at them and set priorities.then rays out from them on my options.

Then another being the end goal of each. It helps me not to feel so overwhelmed and not know where to start.

My life example, garbage needs to go to recycle, Pickup full of wood I need to take out, pickup needs gas, then need money for recycle placeugh

that was a past thing.

What I did too hon is make my life as simple as possible. No dish for tv, no regular landline, got magic jack, cell is a straight talk from Walmart, works great, cheapest around. I kept what I love, my animals and my gardening stuff and comfy furniture and cloths.

If I don't use it, I don't store it.

People, I teach them how to treat me., If they choose not to, I have to release myself from the friendship.

If someone is poison, I do the same. I don't care if it is my father. Just an example.

My spiritiual me is number one.I need spiritual food more than anything. Its first. HP is everything.

I don't know if this helps ya at all. All I know is my life was a HUGE conglomeration of stuff! It was making me sick.

Not anymore., Al Anon teaches me so many things, I live it. I love the people here, appreciate them and am humbled by what they share, and how they support each other.

Don't give up. I invite you to let it out. That is what makes us come here.

Hugs!, pushing a chair to you.....debilyn

vizslame · Member

Thank you. THe contents of your message helps. I am struggling with the putting HP first always. I guess I have not lived that way. Sort of, but not. I know I like to have a roadmap. I have so much chaos it is hard to prioritize and i guess i procrastinate..... i am truly overwhelmed and just can't seem to find the right things to do. seems like everything i touch turns to crap....even sponsorship

vizslame · Member

i sort of thought things were improving when i got a sponsor, but then, it seems like it is just all falling apart and i honestly feel like i am messing everything up and i don't want to run away from al anon, but i also feel like i am just totally confused.

vizslame · Member

Can anyone tell me how to change my USERNAME?

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

I remember being new and totally confused so relax it will pass , one meeting at a time things will become perfectly clear . dont be too hard on yourself it takes along time to be comfortable with the changes we have to make to make our lives better. I like to keep things simple . In our odat on july 14th as a newcommer it had all i needed to know i used it like a road map read it every day til your actually working it that page and the detachment pamphlet changed my life , and for me it was all I could absorb for the first six months in this program , get aquainted with our slogans they are quick fixes for me .. easy does it .your gonna be just fine . Louise

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

I don't know if you are new to meetings as well as this board but as others have shared, this too will pass. We are here for you in love and support. Share one thing at a time when you are ready. There are no requirements here, no pressure.

Keep coming back,

Tommye

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

You're probably trying to figure it all out at once. "Figuring it out" isn't one of our slogans

I've been totally confused before as well. Ride it out; it'll pass.

When I find my thoughts spinning out of control, I turn to meditation and/or yoga. These practices have been nurtured over many years; actually meditation for just about 8 years. Meditation can be tough for some. It was for me. But practice, practice and more practice, I've learned to shut down my mind. (my thoughts, actually)

But perhaps meditation and yoga are turns off for you. So.....................

Experiment. Do something different.

Find something that works for you. Perhaps keeping a notebook on hand and when feeling completely overwhelmed, write down the things that are going right for you. I do this mentally every day and it gets easier with practice. During one phase of my life, I took each letter of the alphabet (in order so I wouldn't miss one) and came up with a positive phrase or sentence. It takes concentration to do this. Before you know it, you feel better. (caution: the letter "x" takes a lot of creativity!)

This phase you're going through will pass :)

-- Edited by GailMichelle on Sunday 10th of July 2011 09:53:53 AM

xeno59 · ~*Service Worker*~

I figure none of us got here overnight we certainly aren't going to "get it" overnight.
When I walked thru the doors of alanon i was broken in a million pieces thought i was pretty much a hopeless case and had dug a hole so deep for myself i could no longer see light anywhere.
Then I read the 12 steps, they seemed very logical and simple. So my plan was to do the 12 steps in 12 days then i would be cured so to speak. I was looking for a quick fix for myself.
Well it is a simple program and it does work. But it is a simple program for complicated people.
My son is my current A, I have so many growing up with this disease but most have found recovery thankfully
But the 12 steps in 12 days was never gonna happen. It took me 10 months to surrender to step 1 thats just how stubbron i was.
For me this is no longer a quick fix, it is a life long program that I must work diligently everyday, every moment if I am going to get my miracle.
And just like an A in recovery I slip, more often than I would like to admit. But now I can see when I slip and get myself back on track.
I have learned to listen to those who have what I want, try things they did and take what I like and leave the rest.
When I get confused I reach out to those people to get a reality check.
I can't see anytime in my future where I wouldn't need this program and the people in it.
It does seem overwhelming at first. You are getting so much information it is hard to process, I also had to get used to hearing things I didn't want to hear in order to get educated on this disease. That was huge for me to have an open mind and a willing heart to hear what I didn't like hearing but it was so important for my recovery.
Just take it one day at a time, applying what you have already learned into your life and then learning more.
Wishing you the best in your recovery
Blessings

vizslame · Member

The crap in my life is relationships and feeling like I apparently have no clue how to function.

vizslame · Member

Emotional roller coaster would be one way to describe my experiences right now.

Of course, I know beyond any doubt, I must keep going to the meetings. I know it is my hope for right now. I desperately need the meetings. Even though for the first several meetings, it just seemed "why go" yet knowing I must go. Gradually, I am learning more and realizing the power of listening. I desperately want the peace and serenety I observe all around me.

After watching the video, I am inspired and encouraged to keep going, knowing that this is tough and not for a sissy. I feel the day will come when I realize more and more how much the program is helping me. I already have experienced hope, but dang, it is tough for a stubborn hen like me.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.