grieving the loss - Al-Anon Family Group

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

grieving the loss

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs, One day at a time and yes you are grieving. It's a huge sadness to lose a dream. Good for you on sticking to your program!!! Sending lots of love and hugs :)

hawaiilover · Senior Member

Hi Lyne, I just want to express my sincere thoughts for not having your loved one due to this illness. I am sending you comforting hugs and my moral support. You are truly loved and accepted here. I ask that your HP gives you the strength to live life on his terms. Just know that we are here for you. Keep coming back.

Hawaii

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Lyne I am sending you love and support. I had to grieve over the loss of many dreams and my marriage over this disease and I just kept working my Al-anon program and life really did get easier. (((HUGS)))

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

you are facing this in the best way you can.

May I invite you to say I will..drop the word try?

It gives us more power and hope to say that.

hey I know how you feel. AH and I were so happy, we were happier than ever in both our lives. Knew him all my life. To absolutely nothing. NO communication, I don't even know where he is.

I did what I set out to do., Could not try as I had to take care of me, not to mention a bunch of needy animals!

Keep coming here,it does help so much. sending you love,debilyn

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I fully grasp what you are going through. Sounds like some painful but profound revelations.

Peggy7 · ~*Service Worker*~

Something that really helped me was I no longer based my self worth on what others said. I continue to learn others opinions of me are simply their opinion.

nmike · ~*Service Worker*~

Lyne,

I can identify with your sense of loss because of addictions. My AHSober left the marriage six years ago. There is nothing easy about this but understanding that it is the disease of alcoholism (or any other addiction) gives us the power back. Alanon and being in recovery helps alot. I cried this morning when I ran. Tears of pain, grief, and loss. But I was running and being healthy. You can too.

In support,
Nancy

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

you are all the best! thank you so much for your help. tomorrow is another day. aww

xeno59 · ~*Service Worker*~

Totally relate to your grief of what was, what could have been, what we want it to be
My son is an addict. He is a handsome, highly intelligent, humours, loving, athletic etc young man who unfortuntaly has no self esteem and sees himself as worthless.
And I miss that young man everyday as drugs have taken that all away from us and him. And it is hard to watch him self destruct and watch the dreams he had for himself and we had for him just dissapear.
I can't think of 1 thing my husband and I haven't tried ( some wrong, some we saw as constructive ) to get him to "see the light" and make him understand that he is worth so much more than he thinks of himself.
Thats where the "powerlessness" comes in for us. Seems like we have to go through all the stages of grieving everytime our son tries to get recovery, achieves some sober time ( which we initally turned into an expectaion ) and then lets it all go again. I work my recovery as hard as i can but grief seems to be a reocurring theme for me and i haven't yet gotten past how to let go of it. But I will someday as i plug along in my program.
It all takes time and practice, and for me as I consider myself a lifer in this program I will always be a work in progress.
Just wanted you to know you are not alone
Blessings

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

My heart aches for you as I have a son too. Lyne

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.