The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I recently called child protective services out of concern for my newphew. My sister has been an addict/alcoholic for 13 years, and now that she has a child, I felt he needed an advocate. I have seen her drive him while drunk, go outside to smoke while he was inside, and she sleeps until about 11 am. He is 2. Expectedly, she has told me that I will never see him again. However, CPS is investigating her, so I feel like I have accomplished something. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to him and I could have prevented it. Has anyone else had to deal with a similar situation?
Dear Rip123, I have not had to do what you did, but I have known of others who did.
I want to salute you for standing up for the child who has no vote, no voice. It is so tragic when innocent children have to live in the damaging environment of addiction.
I know it smarts when family members try to punish us for doing the right thing. She may later get over it---or seek recovery. In any case, you can live with yourself when you go to sleep at night.
Hugs and you are absolutely on the right path, the little one comes first. I hope that CPS will be able to help. You have done everything you could and that's all any of us can do. :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Yes I did the same thing many many years ago. I called CPS on my brother because although he worked made awesome money actually he was an addict and in a very abusive relashionship with a woman who also an addict abused my niece. CPS showed up and they put on a great show, my niece was to afraid to speak the truth and they closed the investigation. So my husband and I consulted an atty to see what our chances were to get custody of my niece and he basically told us we didn't stand a chance in hell. We became very frustrated to say the least. So we called my brother over for a chat ( he had gotten over his anger that I had called CPS on him ) and we told him we had consulted with an atty to fight for custody ( we did not tell him what the lawyer had told us ) and we gave him a choice of volunteering to hand his daughter over to us or we could go to court. And surpisingly he did the next right thing and gave us custody of my niece. He knew deep down it was the right thing to do. Had he decided different obviously we knew our battle would have been lost. He visited her everyday without fail as it was never our intention to keep them apart and all was well until my niece was a senior in HS and then she didn't like our rules anymore and wanted to go back with her dad. Thankfully his relationship had ended and we had to let her make that choice. He did not find sobriety for a couple more yrs after that but once he truly found it he stuck to his program. Unfortunatly he had contracted HepC during his years of using and we lost him 3 months ago. So while CPS didn't come through for us and we had my nieces teachers and principle behind us. We were blessed that my brother did for once think of his daughters needs first. It doesnt always happen that way obviously. I wish you the best, you did the right thing and I hope it works out for you. I also hope you have found Alanon meetings to attend and are working on you, you are worth it! Blessings
I don't have any experience on this issue but I do see that there are a few that have. I commend you for taking an action necessary to protect the child involved. Thank you for sharing your story today. I will keep your family in my prayers.
I commend you for doing what is in the best interest of this child. I know first hand how difficult it can be if you betray the A.
A few years ago I did get CPS involved because my daughter was using crack at the time. Unfortunately they did not side with me. Thankfully, I had gone to court to get an emergency order to keep the child and the judge was the one who granted temp. guardianship, based on my daughter`s urine. My daughter was beside herself.. She played a game and did what she had to and continued to take me back to court to get her d back. Approx a year went by and I knew she was finsihed up with her program that she went through but I still think she was using. The next time I was brought in to the court I asked the judge if my d could give us a hair folicle test since urine only lasted a few days. My d who is a master at manipulation had argued NO how dare I ask for this when she was doing so well blah, blah, tears were flowing.. The judge bought it and said you not only don`t have to give a hair folicle test but you can have your daughter back today! I was devastated.. I knew she wasn`t clean but its been awhile now .. She has no recovery and she just goes from one addiction to the next. I try to see my gd as often as possible. Make it a point to get to meetings so that I can get better also. I want this child to see some positive influences in her life. I can only imagine how difficult this has been for you. I do hope they pull through for this little boy. Remember to take care of you as well.
Thanks to everyone for your replies and words of encouragement. I have checked into nearby meetings, but I can never seem to drag myself there. I just have to do it.
