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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Follow up to my previous post about daughter & grandaughter
Post Info TOPIC: Follow up to my previous post about daughter & grandaughter
Samsgram


Senior Member

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Posts: 121
Date:
Follow up to my previous post about daughter & grandaughter
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I don`t know if any of you remember how I spoke to an officer at one point
in time after I heard about my daughter slamming my gd into the wall because
she didn`t like her having feelings.
I told him how dcf has never been there for this child neither has the school. My daughter
seems to have manipulated many people into thinking she is a wonderful mother so
they don`t ever pay attention to complaints.
I told the officer that she is driving with no license. She has a horrific record of speeding
and endangering because of speeding but has never been stoped for DUI.  She recently
had her license suspended fror driving but that never stopped her, she still drove, even while drinking. They caught her recently and yanked her license indefinately but she has a court date
coming up sometime this month. Anyway, the officer said at that time, this could possibly
solve your problems with your daughter by giving me her name and address. I had told him about her drinking and hurting her child etc... and not getting anywhere with agencies.
But, I would not give it to him. I told him I wanted to think about it.

After last nights incident, I decided to contact him. Today we spoke and he asked for her name and I told him. Then he said, you know. She probably wont learn anything from this and people rarely go to jail for things like this even for a week. I said what? This is not anything like what you told me before! He said, well, I don`t remember what I said before.
I said, please.. I would never have called you if I didn`t think this would help my gd`s situation. Please don`t have anyone stop her with my gd in the car. She will be so worried.
Also, please can you keep this confidential? I could not believe my ears.. I continued to repeat, I would NEVER have called you if this were not going to help like you suggested in another conversation. He said oh okay and we said good bye. I dropped everything and ran to a meeting. Its different to let go of an adult but to see a helpless child get hurt and her call me to get help and I can`t do anything is something else all together.
I know shes getting older but she thinks grandma will protect her. I always told her I would and to call me if mommy hurt her. Now I find I can`t do a damn thing to help her.

I hope and pray that my higher power and her high power leads this to a positive outcome. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I`am scared...

 

Sams~

 

 

 

 

 



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Rosanne Averill
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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What's the worst thing that can happen?

great for you going to meeting! hugs, deb.



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Pushka


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Is it Father Tom who says "what's the worst that can happen, it already has." ? Hugs Samsgram, I'm glad you made it to a meeting. I truly hope you can find some answers and your higher power leads you to where you need to be in your AD's situation. I know there are answers the biggest problem is finding the right person to ask. I was told and I do believe this, if I hear the answer no then I'm not asking the right person the right question. Hugs again :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Samsgram


Senior Member

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Posts: 121
Date:
Permalink  

"Whats the worst that could happen?" Wow guys plenty. Don`t you see,, I have
a little girl who wants me with her always for protection. She likens me to her God.
I tell her constantly, no sweety.. I`am nothing like "God".. I make mistakes and big ones
all the time.  She feels safe with me. I have been the ONLY safe and constant person
in her entire 7 years on this planet. I fear her mother taking her or me away from her.
And I know she has tried in the past. She is threatened by our relationship but is too
ill herself to admit that she has any problems that need addressing. If she were to find
out that I contacted anyone about her. I fear her rage and who would suffer the consequences. Her rage`s can come on at a drop of a hat as it is.
I have been teaching my gd that mommy has a disease and that when she makes you
feel bad its the disease doing that so don`t listen to it or believe it.
She still struggles and feels bad about herself when her mother blames her for everything but this week-end she told me that I have
helped her so much to see that its mommy`s illness sometimes. I don`t want to leave
her to hear all the bullshit with no one to help her.

Sams~

 

 

 

 

 

 



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Rosanne Averill
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
Date:
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What I meant was if people around her, the A would start making her accountable for her behavior.

d calling police,you calling police. She is being abused, 911 is ez to dial. What makes the kiddo not call hon?

love,deb



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Samsgram


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 121
Date:
Permalink  

Gotcha now Deb.. Because she loves her mother and believes the lies and thinks
things are HER fault! No matter how bad some kids have it they still don`t want
to get taken away from their mother or get their mother in trouble. She is terrified
of her mother. When she tells me things that happen at home or with her mother.
She makes me shut all the windows
of my car and she whispers to me. Her mothers car isnt anywhere near mine! Can you imagine being this
afarid?

 



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Rosanne Averill
Jerry F


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I can imagine being that afraid...it brings back memories of my childhood.  It's good that she has her grandmother to feel safe with and Sam you are the point person, you and your fellowship and your sponsor (I hope you got one) and the meetings. Cause even as the point person you cannot try this alone.  Even having your grand daugther meet others in your fellowship and your sponsor is appropriate so she knows that gramma isn't alone like she is at times.

Caution with the police is good...they can only do so much and are under constraint by the laws and police policy.  It's good that you got the courage to change something by reaching out.  I've done that also and the experience alone of practicing new courage let to further growth. 

You have an influence on your young grand daughter and might be the most influential steady person she can rely on.  Stay the course...Its okay that you find that committed strong honest person inside of you.  Its there.  Its an asset and tool and for me I believe that our HP wants us not to hide it.   Supportive post...thanks.

(((((hugs))))) smile



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youfoundme


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Date:
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Keep going to meetings, getting there and finding a sponsor were suggested to me. I have a person I am going to ask tonight. Its a wonderful thing that you are there for your grandaughter. Take care of you. The words of wisdom are shining through, meetings meetings and meetings... and a sponsor. There is help for you out there, and the loving arms of people at the meetings. Take care :)

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-youfoundme

Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
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