The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi I am new to this. I am a daughter of an alcholic/drug abuser. I have a teen daughter who's father (estranged for 12 years) died of a heroin overdose last year and recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year after figuring out he is most likely an alchoholic. My daughter is doing very well and we have great friends and family but I just figured I should get some advice on how to stop the cycle of having relationships with addicts. Thank you
You are so in the right place, welcome :) Others here will have more information about finding a f2f meeting in your area. I just wanted to say hello and to keep coming back :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Good for you for recognizing the pattern in your relationship history and wanting to do something about it.
I've been there too. In fact, that was what finally brought me to Al-Anon. I am the daughter of alcoholic parents and have a whole string of unhealthy relationships in my past, the two most recent (one is current) with recovering alcoholics. Plus I realized that there is something in me that is powerfully and magnetically attracted to alcoholic/addict men, and them to me -- by the time I figure out that "whoops, there's a big problem here" my emotions are already engaged.
Growing up with alcoholism has created ingrained patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving in us that we have carried into our adult lives. Although those things may have developed long ago as ways for us to survive and cope in that environment, they are now harmful to us in our adult relationships. We need our own program of recovery -- emotional and spiritual healing and growth -- that's where Al-Anon comes in.
I found a list of my local meetings by looking up Al-Anon online. I know some of the other members here seem to have the links readily available, as well as the toll free hotline number, so hopefully that info will get posted.
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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
Changing our patterns is hard but simple work. Alanon helps to point you in the right direction, by going to meetings, listening and sharing, finding a sponsor and working the steps. When you go, ask for phone numbers and call people. Get support and talk things out with the other members. Remember you go to alanon to help yourself, not change others. We can only change ourselves. Remember you didn't cause the addiction, you can't control it and you can't cure it. WElcome here, keep coming!
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
