How does HP answer/guide you? - Al-Anon Family Group

ythannah · Senior Member

How does HP answer/guide you?

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

First, there are many forms of HP. It's individual so it's kind of hard to answer in a nutshell.

For me, I don't think I am "guided" so much..It's more like I "follow" what I believe in. The American Indians say we should follow The Good Red Road. It means walking the road of balance, living right, respecting and loving the earth and every living thing.

I had to figure out, research and define what my HP was. The HP of my youth just no longer made sense. I went on a mission to find the HP that I felt I could accept as my truth.

Organized religions were not what I was looking for. I leaned more toward spirituality. I liked how Native Americans believe HP is in, and part of, all living things and I am "one" with that source of energy. I liked how Buddhists believe the energy you put out is returned to you (Karma), good and bad.

My personal belief is when you can find and align with your idea of HP/Source, the correct answers are obvious according to your beliefs. They don't come in big booming voices, they just feel right.

Christy

-- Edited by Christy on Monday 4th of July 2011 04:44:17 PM

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

hi, good to see ya and great subject!

I gotta be careful here, it is my experience though.

When things were so horrible, starving, homeless, yuck, I looked up to the mountains I now live in and asked Hp, the creator Jehovah, to please take it all, I am powerless. Just threw it out with my hands and arms literally.

I learned that which I could not control. So quit doing it. honestly took a day at a time. did what I could and had to, then took a nap.Did not think beyond that day. Can I pay house payment, how will I survive, my animals? none of it. I fed that day, i called the mortgage co. that day. did all I could and that was that. No thinking beyond.

I prayed and said well if I am to be completely homeless I am. I face it. ok'ed it.

Well never really was, we were all fed and cared for. Everyday worked. I did the footwork, meaning all I could, and HP brought the result. I didn't even wait, it would be what it was.

The bible is my guide 100%. I could have kept my house. but would have had to lie about the money I have. I thought about it, cried all night. I could not lie, I could not do it. there is a scripture that says that God will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, and will help you have a way out of it.

I told my mortgage advocate, no go, won't do it. Now what? I live on very little income. could not afford the average $1000 a mo. rent plus the rest.

I look at craigslist. One room cabin $500 a month! I have looked about everyday since then and there has not been one home for that.That is HP.That is hp, that is how faith works.

This kind of thing happens alllll the time. since i quit trying to control, I don't worry, take one day at a time, come here, life is 100% easier.

Hmmm now i wonder if HP will send me a friend some day.... (c: love,deb

All I can be · Senior Member

My HP doesnt sit down on the sofa and talk to me, but he does send his children to me. I would not have survived without the many people who guide me with their kindness. I have to listen to what they say not what I want to hear.

All the best on your journey. It gets better, but not always when I say it should.

jamfu · Veteran Member

Your higher power is YOU! What ever you love, believe in. You give it away to not only yourself but , bring the peace of mind to know you made a difference inside of yourself. Show gratitude to yourself. what you should have or could have does not make anything different now. Today is today

surfingmaestro · Veteran Member

I think my HP provides me with situations and opportunities to learn from and I know I am learning because I deal with those situation and opportunities in ways that I would not have prior to turning things over to my hp. I do have to spend about 10 to 15 minutes every morning to open myself to my HP and work at releasing control. If I do that, which sometimes I get too busy and pay the price, I am able to go through the day without manipulating and controlling situations. Of course, I sense my need to control and manipulate, but most of the time I am able to prevent myself from putting those emotions into actions. Like I said, most of the time. I believe all of this is my higher power at work. Some might say that I have just learned to control my behavior but to that I say no way. These behaviors of mine have been major character defects of mine for decades. I knew they were self destructive behaviors that whole time and couldn't stop that behaviors even though I wanted to change. I wasn't able to get rid of these behaviors until I turned them over to my higher power and asked my higher power to take them. I believe that is my HP guiding me today.

ythannah · Senior Member

Thanks for your replies!

No, Christy, I don't have a traditional organized-religion concept either, my notion of HP more closely resembles the idea of Mother Nature (for lack of a better description).

Which is why I get bogged down when I read advice like praying to one's HP for guidance and I just think that I've never had much in the way of guidance so I'm just muddling along making my own decisions, according to my own will, like always.

Guess I'm grappling with some difficult choices right now and not wanting to do things the same old unhealthy way I've done them all my life.

ifa · Veteran Member

ythannah wrote:
Still struggling with the Higher Power concept here.
It occurs to me that maybe I don't know what I'm supposed to be listening to or looking for.
I know I can't trust my "inner voice" because that is the one that plays all the old negative tapes from my childhood and tells me I'm stupid, worthless, unlovable, etc. That's the voice I'm trying to shut off, or at least replace with positive messages.
Sometimes I think I should be paying more attention to "signs" or coincidences or something, and then I get even more confused because I don't know what is significant or not.
Other times I think I could wait forever paralyzed in indecision waiting for some answer that is never going to come (or I won't recognize when I see it).
I've never been able to successfully meditate, maybe that's part of the problem -- my mind never shuts off.
Thoughts? Experience?

It isn't easy, because messages from the HP are subtle and generally not loud or obvious. The HP gets drowned out by our negative thoughts, or negative comments from other people. We get distracted by the world and our own thoughts, which are so much louder than the HP.

Over many years I have tried to learn about the HP, and understand the messages. It's probably different for everyone, and it's different for me at different times. I never get words. I might get feelings. And things happen in my outer life that I observe.

I can tell when I am with my HP or not with. If I am not, lots of things go wrong. Silly little things, big things. Conversations go weird.

My ego loves to take over and shove the HP aside, and that's when my life gets weird or stupid or horrible. When I am with my HP, I can get along great with my qualifier. That's what makes me think maybe the troubles with him are my fault.

If I remember to pray and stay aligned with my HP, life goes smoothly and sometimes joyfully. But it's hard to stay in that state, because the ego is maniacal.

Do not identify yourself with your ego. Hard to define exactly what I mean by ego. The thing that feels pride and compares itself with others, feels superior to some and envious of others. We can't lose it, it's a necessary part of ourselves, but try not to let it run the show.

The self is very complicated, not at all understood. The HP is on a higher level. Christians may think of the HP as Jesus. It's the part of God that is accessible to humans. We are not smart enough to understand the HP very much, but we get all our wisdom from it.

It's hard, really hard, to get a good relationship with the HP. At least for me, because my ego is a beast.

I had not been to a meeting for several years, until tonight. But I still kept praying and trying to connect with my HP.

When I get disconnected from my HP then I lose my faith and my sense of direction and it is so hard to get back. Sometimes it's easier when I am desperate, because then I really let go and let God.

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

ythannah wrote:
It occurs to me that maybe I don't know what I'm supposed to be listening to or looking for.

Hello,

The line you wrote above is how I feel my HP talks and guides me. That sudden AHA moment or an eye opening change in thought that leads to a new way of looking at a situation. Hearing a comment or experience that makes me aware of how I want to live and honor myself as well as the rest of the world. Opening a daily reader to the right page to find what I need that day or having plans shifted that in the long run turn out for the best. I know my experience showed me that those little guiding forces were always there but I was so busy trying to stay afloat I did not see them for what they were, either ignoring or writing it off to chance circumstances. And a whole lot harder to explain than how easy it has gotten to feel in my life Hope something helps, thank you for bringing up this topic.

Jen

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

My HP is God. I had to get there slowly. Issues with shutting of my brain as well. Still sometimes I miss where I am being lead to or what message I am suppose to be getting and choosing to look the other way. Lately I have been turning over everything to my higher power and just stepping out of the way. Thy will be done has been the ending of my prayers. My God message maybe a gut feeling, intuition, working my steps on some subconscious level, sometimes it's a whisper, a person or situation. I really don't know outside of it's when my heart and my head match, a straight clarity moment, that I know it's coming from God. I am outside of the control of it and it would have never come from me under normal circumstances.

Those moments hit at different times. I also find that when I choose not to pay attention and I continue to pray about the same thing, the same message gets a little louder so to speak, usually a swift kick in the hinney winds up happening. I know at that moment, it's time to let go.

Just being open and trusting that what your HP is showing you is 1/2 the battle. :) H.O.W your way there :) Honesty, Openness and Willingness

ythannah · Senior Member

Jennifer wrote:
I know my experience showed me that those little guiding forces were always there but I was so busy trying to stay afloat I did not see them for what they were, either ignoring or writing it off to chance circumstances.

Yup, it's that sort of thing that I fear I may have been missing all along because I am normally so rationally/logically focused.

So much great stuff here! You guys are the BEST! smile

xeno59 · ~*Service Worker*~

Good thread here !

When I found my Higher Power whom I call God sheesh I started prayin like crazy and nothing was happening or changing. I also didn't trust my inner voice cause we can see where that got me
I wondered if I was praying right or was I praying for the wrong things etc
I shared this in a meeting one night, that I didn't seem to be getting any answers from my HP after the meeting an old timer asked me if after praying was I listening or looking for the answers? Um no i wasn't to be truthful. I was told to do so. And i had to be reminded several times that things happen in HP's time not mine. I wasn't to crazy about that little piece of truth.
But I did have to accept that and I did have to start activly looking for the answers HP was sending me. Now I can see he speaks to me in many ways. Mostly I hear him through other people, I pay very close attention in meetings for people who face my same challenges and what they did to overcome those challenges. Then tried those same things, sometimes they worked, sometimes not but at least I was being proactive. I have severe anxiety that no amount of meds or therapy helped with so i tried praying during an anxiety attack. I make up a little mantra like " HP pls take away this feeling and replace it with peace in my heart" I would lay down and say that over and over again in my head either until I fell asleep or until I found myself feeling peaceful. I now use this same tecnique for any uncomfortable feeling I may have and the more I practiced it the quicker it seemed to work.
I found sometimes just the smile of a stranger in a store was my answer to what ever I was feeling that taught me that you never know who may need a smile or just to be recognized so I make it a point to smile at others.
Of course I prayed like crazy for my son to find sobriety as if millions of other people aren't praying for the same thing right? Now I pray for health and happiness for my children and thats where things work in HP's time and not mine. I prayed while my brother was dying for him to hold on just a while longer..... the answer to that prayer was no. So now I pray for HP's will to be done and I will accept it. I can't tell you how many prayers that have been answered positivly for me but it was enough for me to be able to surrender my life into his hands and know for a fact that HP always has my back.
Blessings to you

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Has anyone else realized that they were trying to control what their HP would or would not do in their specific situation? I realized that about two weeks ago and thought dang I am certainly full of myself, telling God what to do, how to do it and when .. LOL!

ythannah · Senior Member

xeno59 wrote:
When I found my Higher Power whom I call God sheesh I started prayin like crazy and nothing was happening or changing. I also didn't trust my inner voice cause we can see where that got me
I wondered if I was praying right or was I praying for the wrong things etc

Yes, that's exactly where I am right now. "Am I doing this wrong? Because nothing is different!" Lol.

I do know that my tendency is to over-control (just myself and my own environment, thankfully, not others) so I think in order to feel safe/okay about letting go, I want some reassurance about my safety net -- what does it look like? how will I know it's there?

Has anyone else realized that they were trying to control what their HP would or would not do in their specific situation?

Oh, that is sooo me! "Okay, this is the result I want and this is how it has to happen -- by Friday, okay?" biggrin

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

ythannah wrote:
Oh, that is sooo me! "Okay, this is the result I want and this is how it has to happen -- by Friday, okay?"

Ohhhhh that is almost word for word one of my old prayers LOL

I needed a really good reminder to Let Go and Let HP today. And here it is

Jen

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.