The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is what happened last night my husband's old friends came around the house last night.................I am sure most of you know what this means. He got so messed up on uppers and downers it was like seeing him drunk all over again. I guess I need to get what I am feeling off of my chest because I was a little sad for him. I left him alone to do his thing and even though I think he may have tried to invite me into his arguements I chose to decline the invitation. I had a good night doing my own thing. I didn't sleep quite as well as I have been. I am not disappointed in him but a little hurt. I am going out with some friends tonight and I am not going to let his binge ruin my happiness positive thinking or fun. I am Letting go and letting God because he is in control. I know that we all fall short and I have already forgiven my husband. Sometimes when he has these pill binges it is still hard for me. I no longer cry or get mad but my heart still breaks a little when I know that for today the disease has won.
Gotta love those old friends and yes, very familiar with what that means. Sounds like you are working your program and it's working for you MDK!!! Awesome on detaching from the situation. I'm sorry to hear what he is doing as I know it is hard to watch and it's sad...waching the people we love do something over and over again that is so destructive to themselves - and such a helpless feeling for us. I truly don't know if that part gets any easier.
I hope you go out and have a great night with your friends. Your post was so inspiring in how we should take care of ourselves even when things are right there in front of us - so proud of you!!!
Acceptance, awareness, and working your program. He did what he is going to do, and you did what you knew you needed to do to protect your serenity and peace of mind. You didn't react, you fell back on your program......you took care of yourself, the only person you have control over.
"My heart still breaks a little"........But it's evident from your post you didn't allow the circumstances to break your spirit.
Just like RLC said you are doing what you need to do, seeing the situation as it is and still moving on with your own life. WTG :) Enjoy your time with friends!!
P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I remember when my addict wife use to bring "her people" into and around "our" house with absolutely no concern about anyone except herself and them. They were her family and what they did she approved and did herself. After a while of being a victim (a long while) I started using "my" voice and building my connection with "my" people (my higher power) and my children which was like enrolling in recovery kindergarden. I didn't have Al-Anon then so I was both teacher and student; not good, the blind leading the blind how ever I was getting change from away from the active addiction to something else. I did get sicker because I was doing change and not the best changes for what I needed which was peace of mind and serenity. God was that period of time crazy for me. I got soooo sick; mind, body, spirit and emotions and it took a prescription from my doctor to start the process of further change. I didn't have program to learn from or with so I followed the prescription which had a simple direction, "Get a divorce" and I did and things got different and then worse. That was not a spiritual direction only a temporary reprieve from one active addiction situation. Without the program I was quickly into another addiction relationship and then another and then another until I found the program. I'm no longer divorcing now...I'm detaching from the disease while staying attached to that which has helped me...HP and Al-Anon program principles both of which are connected.
Had a great meeting this morning that reinforced this share. Thanks for letting me bring it here. (((((hugs)))))
