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I'm curious to hear others thoughts on prayer and how you incorporate it into your recovery. I'm feeling very connected to my higher power and have for a while now. However, the concept of prayer is tripping me up now and again. I learned long ago not to pray for things that you want--for example, don't pray for your favorite sports team to win the big game, etc. And that makes perfect sense to me. However, the more Al Anon literature I read and the more meetings I attend, I'm just left with some confusion about what exactly to pray for?
In one of the Al Anon books, it talks about not praying for certain outcomes--in other words, don't pray for your qualifier to get sober, for example. In that case, your essentially putting your will ahead of God's--this is what I want, I don't care about your plans God, make this happen please. To me, it's like the concept of going to a movie and praying that the story goes a certain way. You don't control that.
For a while, I've simply been praying to God to keep my kids safe, and for my wife to be happy. But even that feels like I'm asking God to give me what I want. Someone in my meeting this week said they start everyday by simply praying "Your way". In other words, God is in charge of what happens, I am not. I guess the more I think about it, it all simply comes back to the serenity prayer. That pretty much just sums it all up, no?
Sorry for the jumbled thoughts, the first cup of coffee is not yet in me and I'm trying to wake up still!
Your post is extrememly spiritual and filled with wisdom Today I too start my day with first asking HP for courage, serenity and wisdom so I can do it his way and then I thank HP for all I have and for the beauty all around me .
I repeat this prayer often in the day , while I am walking to the store, driving etc It is very powerful
Keep on doing what you are doing You are on your way.
I am leaning heavily on my hp at the moment I have to confess I still can't be 100% reliant that I won't use my own will over his again,and snatch it back, because that is what I have been doing, only half heartidly believing he knows whats best for me, and those people that I love, and am begining to accept I have no control or will over anyone but myself, I just pray that they are in safe hands with him, and trust that his will for them is the right and only way to give me peace and contentment, in my own life, Canadian guys poem has helped me tons, The anyway poem, where it ends, "the final analysis is between you and god, it was never between you and them anyway.
I always carry around with me a gut feeling, and then also I seek advice all over, and then when I chose to follow some advice outside of myself I usually haven't got it quite right, so I am learning to just sit with it, praying only for gods will for me, and it seems to be working.
I hope I haven't confused you more it's quite tricky to explaine.
I remember a couple of years ago someone in my group said it's even O.K. to ask your HP to make your alcoholic worse. Their thinking was the alcoholic would find their bottom and seek recovery. I listened but I wasn't sure I agreed. Later their statement had an influence on a prayer I prayed each day. My prayer was "HP make her better or make her worse because I am sick of the middle." That was in January 2009. On April 15th, 2009 my wife found soberity for the first time in our marriage. Her soberity lasted until Dec. 24th of that year...a little over 8 months. The disease is always lurking, it stays dormant but never goes away. She fought a good fight, but in the end alcohol won yet again and continues.
She and her disease are in HP's hands and have been for over two years now. HP has a plan. I don't know what it is or when his plan will take effect. I have faith and I know in my heart that his will be done. Not mine. Things are a little bit different now. With the program I have learned how to live in the middle, and it's up to HP where he wants her to get better or worse. My job is to take care of myself first.
HUGS, RLC
P. S. Your a better man than me.......Yes, I admit I have been guilty a few times praying that my team the University of Alabama will win. I think HP forgave me !!
In my view I do ask God not for material things but for my family to be healthy and to head towards being healthier. I also say at the end of my prayer God's will be done. I know we are all in His hands, but I do still like to ask for our health and I know He hears my requests and I don't expect my will to beat His out. Since I have turned my life over to my HP it has only gotten better, imagine that. My attitude has changed for the better and even in the midst of strife I am generally smiling and seeing my blessings. Thanks for making me more aware and I am interested in others ESH on this one.
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
This is how I prayed today. GOD HELP ME My house is on the market and I got the dreaded phone call late last night for a showing at noon today. It had stormed heavily this week so not only did I need to clean the inside of my house but the outside as well. Normally I have my morning prayer and meditation for about thirty minutes with my coffee. I do some writing, step work on my knees, and invite God into my day to direct my thinking and actions and teach me how to live. Today it was replaced with doing laundry, mopping floors, and vaccuming. Throughout the whole process, I kept saying, God help me, please help me.
I went to my noon meeting today and it was on step 2 which was perfect for me.
"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"
Peace and serenity never comes as a result of frantic activity which is what I was doing. So, when I arrived to my meeting, I was completely drained. When I left I shared what I was doing with my home group and felt so much better. Now, I am grateful it is over. The showing went well. I do so hope I sell it this season because having a house OCD clean with two little kids and animals to boot is absolute insanity.
This is an absolutely marvelous, fulfilling, necessary thread and everything that has been shared is important for me to read and listen to because it is about a power greater than myself which I am constantly staying in the presence with 24/7. I use to believe I knew alot about the subject having been raised culturally in one religion and educated within that religion also and for years doing service in that religion. I never questioned what I knew or thought I knew until I got into Al-Anon and heard the simplest of descriptions "A power Greater than Myself". Higher Power was even greater than my own knowledge of Higher Power and in the process of recovery what I knew then tripped over onto it's ear. What I knew then had nothing to do with experiencing God it was about learning of others' perceptions of God and not my own. In the program I got introduced to miracles which were consequences of others' experiences of God as they understood God and I could see those miracles and then I wanted what they had.
Some things I learned that are daily practice for me...even at the moment; prayer is a conversation with God...it is speaking simply and listening without a filter which for me means without expectations as to how, or when the response will appear and what it will look like. I learned to pray from my center, my gut or na`au as my culture says it. I don't use my brain because that is where my problems come from. My brain is where my ego and pride live along with all those crazy "committee" people who hang out there discussing adnauseam absolutely nothing of importance to sanity. I pray with the awareness that if my Higher Power is truely my Higher Power and the "Father" of my life and everyone else in my life, what I am going thru...good and bad...and what is happening is already known to HP so talking simply is respectful and loyal. I pray with faith, without reservation that I am being heard and attended to as Higher Power, God, Akua as I understand God works. I don't believe anymore that Akua is a tool of convenience for me and that I am willing servant to Akua's will and need. What a turn around heh? Was I ever living in a closet.
Since I learned the open listening exercise without expectation and with faith I have had spiritual consequences witnessed by others, some in the program which have also included others in the program which everyone who has been apart of it have acknowledged either outrightly "miracle" or "there is something going on here and we don't understand and is beyond our education and experiences". Solutions, miracles come from outside of understanding and past experiences all I have to do is always be aware of that and believe HP has heard my need and then go on with the use of my life for HP's need, will, request. Al-Anon taught me all that beyond what I learned in my religion which had me believing all I had to do was belong to that religion.
Prayer is a two way loving, trusting, conversation without selfish behavior between God and myself both of us willing to be a part of each others life. Simple now I have to continue living that out.
This is a great thread....I'd like to just listen to more of the membership share on this; without expectation of course. (((((hugs)))))
At our church, each Sunday the pastor leads a "children's sermon". It's just 5 minutes or so where the kids in the congregation go up and sit with the pastor and he talks to them about God. Recently he was talking to them about prayer and he kept it in simple terms, as you would with a child. He said really prayer should be about 2 things--asking for help, and giving thanks.
I thought the giving thanks part was very important. I think it's critical to be thankful for all of the gifts that we've been given, small ones and big ones. Recognize them as they happen and then before bed, reflect and thank your HP for them.
The other day I was in my car, waiting for the light to turn green. I looked up and saw a Heron flying overhead. They are amazing creatures, almost prehistoric looking. I love nature and wildlife and while this wasn't a big deal, I really enjoyed the moment and I saw it as a gift. Fortunately, I have been given more significant, wonderful gifts in the last 24 hours and I have really enjoyed them, and more importantly, I have recognized them and given thanks for them, with no expectation that I will receive them again.
My kids have been taught that the Lord's Prayer covers everything. Basically when in doubt say the Lord's Prayer and trust that God (HP) already knows what you need. I have days where just like the end of the Ala-non meetings just saying the Lord's Prayer really is enough and now I am trusting God (HP) to fill in the blanks.
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I'm fairly new to the HP concept, but I'm having fun with it. There are two things I generally ask for - one is help with a tough predicament - two is asking for a sign.
If I'm running late, I'll ask for help doing my chores in a hurry, or for all green lights en route. The biggest help I asked for so far was when I had some car trouble at the start of a 200 mile trip home, I asked for a sign by the next highway exit if I needed to repair now, and to please see me home safely if there was no sign. I had no sign, and I made it home safely (though not without a lot of worry).
If I have a tough decision to make or am contemplating something beyond my grasp (like how to apply one of these steps); I'll ask for a sign. It's amazing how the signs can be revealed. Sometimes they are in a reading, often they are from an innocent comment of someone, something in the media. Sometimes I'll have a random memory of a past situation.
I'm really trying hard to trust my HP and the "let go and let god".
This was a good question usedtobe.. I've enjoyed reading all the replies - thanks all.
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If you want things to be different, you have to do things differently.
