The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So this has been a hard thing for me, I know that in order to really be successful I need a sponsor. To hold me to attending meetings, hold me accountable for working the steps, and having someone that I can call when the A's in my life push me hard and I let them get the best of me.
Maybe it's just easier for some people, but how do I find a sponsor? obviously going to meetings help. I get that. Do you just stand up and say "I need a sponsor?" Do you let people identify that you're new and may need one and let them come to you?
I did read the FAQ's and I understand that asking is probably the best way, but I guess I'm wondering more about the most "appropriate" way to get one. I mean just going up and asking the first person you see seems like jumping the gun. Maybe I'm just making it more complicated than it is.
Everyone is different. Here is my story. I am slow to warm up to people, but not especially shy.
Following my f2f meetings, anyone who wants to will go out for lunch. I really really enjoy the lunches. If your group goes out together, join them. So at lunch I got aquainted with a few of the people.
Then after a few weeks, I picked up that 500 pound phone and called one or two of them. After a month or so, I settled on a lady that seemed to be available when I called, and who I like enough to talk things over with. Eventually on one of my calls, I expressed my dedication to the alanon program, explained that I was still in need of a sponsor, then popped the question.
whew, she immediately said yes! I was worried that she'd have to think it over, but she said yes.
So now I have a sponsor. It's time to get serious and start the steps. anyway, the trick for me was getting to know her through lunches and phone calls first. It was not a real quick process, but I feel I will be able to trust her with my feelings and the process.
Good Luck, if you have a phone list for your f2f group, use it - call someone - just to chat at first. ((hugs))
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If you want things to be different, you have to do things differently.
Alanon has a pamphlet "Sponsorship, What's It's All About" # P31. Check it out. I think you will find all the questions you have will be answered in there. Most groups have it on their literature table.
Hi there. I think I found my sponsor in my first few meetings and I called her a lot at first. She was the first one to give me her phone number and she was a long time Al-anoner and knew her stuff and is tough. It has been a good match. I am sending you love and support in finding your sponsor.
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
