Hi, one can have the genetics that predispose them to be an A. That does not mean they will be and we don't know to what extent what markers they have, or how many.

DNA is horribly complex. Maybe a combination of markers, changes the liklihood that one will be A!

Also there are many A's walking around who show no signs, or for some reason can drink "normaly."

Many of our best artists, painters, research scientists, inventors, actors and on and on are A's. MANY of the most human developed things we value were brought by A's and people who had mental issues.

Remembering back I knew and was told things, but did it anyway. Until a certain age kids don't have certain reasoning skills or really believe anything can happen to them. Look at all the 18 year olds who join the service, their brains are still developing!They were drafted in the past for that reason.

My kids had the potential too. Son was a handful. But now in their 30's are doing great.

What I see is, kids who have a ton of interests, or family and friends introduce them to all the fun and interesting things in life, are less apt to want to try drugs.

Thank goodness I as into everthing so my kids were too. motorcycles, fishing, rafting, shopping, creative things, gardening,walking,camping, back packing,reading, art, I used to bring home tons of art, ,paintings, sculpture books from the library since my kids were little. They loved them.

I loved to put fences up and make things.

Daughter got her 5 year degree in Fine Arts, taught at U of O. doing well. Son is a leadman for a remodel company, is sooo much an outdoorsman. Daughter is an avid hiker, gardening cook and makes beautiful jewelry.

I made earrings and stuff with them.Both read like crazy like I do and both their boys have read from ohhh about age 3 or 4!

So in my experience it is more developing their interests.

I rode my horse,like hiking, walking, reading swimming. Mother had tons of books around. I always said I wanted to have healthy babies so I did not drink or drug. This was in the 60's and 70's!

So there ya go! GREAT share!!! love,debilyn

Sorry, didn't mean to offend...I guess I'm using the wrong word..."gene" to fill in for more of a feeling or knowing that we have that personality of sorts...for instance, my sister knows she has an additive personality, this she has said, and so did my ex-hubby....I know I do not when it comes to drugs/alcohol.  I guess that's what I meant....and that's what I can see in my son....that personality or habit forming of things that might be apt to get into a wrong "habit" I guess....maybe I'm not explaining it right? 

Dear mslouise, I think any of us parents can relate to the fears that you are having for your son.  Especially those who are sensitized to the facts and nature of alcoholism--how could you not, realistically.

As a parent who has already lived through the young years with my children, I do have some thoughts that I will share with you.  They mostly (but not all) come from mistakes that I made---more by omission than anything.  I have also worked with troubled teens at one time which has shaped some of my opinions and thoughts.

One thing is to allow boys to express their feelings of sadness, pain, etc.  I think it is cruel to tell boys not to cry and just suck it up---to be a "little man".  It denies them a part of their humanity.

Ddon't be short on showing open affection and caring within the family unit.

Give him pleanty of responsibility and activities.  Responsibility and competency are a foundation for self-esteem.

I feel a huge one (and where I was a lot nieve) is to monitor his environment as to which influences he is exposed to.  This includes peer groups BIGTIME.  Adolescence is the time when their increased independence and turbulent emotions make them vulnerable to using substances to cope.  The younger, the more opportunity for addiction to get hold of them.

Of course there are many things to consider--we could write a textbook on childrearing here.

I just mention the ones above because staying connected to their emotions, developing strong self-esteem and protection from substances  in their environment while their brains are still undeveloped gives them a better "fighting chance"

I am just sharing with you.  Didn"t intend to give a lecture. LOL

I will be as interested as you are to see what thoughts other member have on this subject.

Good thread, mslouise.

Sincerely, Otie

Thank you for all your replies : )

Debilyn - I am too (as is my son) into everything outdoors - he goes where I go! We go hiking, fishing, camping, caving, kayaking...and my bf is a Harley driver so we have dappled into that and it's fun!!  My son loves doing things like this, and I'm so glad - he is all about the outdoors and being creative....so I hope those interests stay with him.  I liked what you said about kids having that "no fear, can't happen to me" factor - so true.  It sounds like you are a fun confident lady and you should be so proud of your familly!  Your kids sound all kinds of awesome!!!  Thanks for the reply.

Loupiness, you have reminded me of what I must do...give my son more responsiblitly and stay consistent.  I have done LOTS for him - and probably still do to much that I know he can do for himself - I know this has been a fault of mine due to guilt I think cause what I've think I put him through when I was with my exabf.  But I now see it as I have done him a huge dis-service.  My son is much like yours....he loves Legos, computers (although I he is not on them often), but does not stick with one particular activity....which is also maybe my fault - make him learn about follow through and commiment if he signs up for a season of something.  Doesn't like to read, etc.  He is a good kid, but it does worry me still.  I guess many parents can look back and see what if, could have done, should have done....we do the best at the time, they say.  Thanks for sharing about your son.  I wish you and your family well.  I hate to think about a son or daughter having a rough road ahead...I see mother's insticks kicking in and we want so much to save or help....can't imagine how hard it is when we have to just let them go and make their own mistakes. 

Take care