I had a conversation with police tonite - Al-Anon Family Group

Samsgram · Senior Member

I had a conversation with police tonite

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

Sams, this avenue of opportunity may just be what's needed....examine your motives and do the next best thing.

I cried when I read your post because, much as we adults are affected by the pain & chaos of alcoholism, it pains me so much more when a young child is in the equation. I too have a gd who's father is an A (my X son-in-law) she's only 4 and her Mum has stopped visitation rights (long story) Keep strong, go to your meetings, keep posting. You're not alone.

In support

(((((hugs))))) Ness x

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

biggrin Yay!! look at you!! Progress, you know you need a meeting and are going!!! I am so proud of you!

I will remind you, your loving her,standing up for her will not go unnoticed! Someday she will come to you. If you can stay strong, ignore the bolony, get support that is the best thing you can do.

We have be careful in what we do however. Most times things do not come out as we wish!

Hugs! debilyn

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

((Sama))

I can hear in your last couple posts that you have been taking care of you

Way to go! Keep working it!

I really like Ness' reminder of how important checking motives is. When I know where my decisions and ideas are coming from I am able to act in the most productive and healthy ways of taking the next best step. You're in my prayers.

Jen

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((Sama))))) God I hope you're getting your sweet, compassionate heart to a meeting soon. We have a husband and wife, gramma, grampa team membership in my home group and they are growing soooo much and each time I listen to their stories of down and then up I think of you. Their grand-daughter is younger than yours and their daughter and her partner are both dual addicted and they are learning solutions. I saw them both at the market yesterday...In the store we shared a hug and support and outside the store I shared a smile and humor with grampa; he no longer wore the face of anger and sadness and panic that he use to.

You do have avenues...it will take time and thru the time continue to exercise that natural love you have and share...that is you. We don't get this over night and solutions don't come over night either. The do come when we work for them...sometimes quickly sometimes slowly and they do come. For me all of the solutions I received were very different than how I thought I should see and have them. Acknowledging that I have a Power greater than Jerry F taught me that this is the way it was supposed to be. God don't think like me or see it like I do and so the solutions come in ways I need but wouldn't have designed.

"If you keep and open mind you will find help". That is my first fulfilled promise from inside Al-Anon. Openmindedness and patience and the willingness to continue being "out" of control. When you are with your grand-daughter continue to practice that love that you know best how to do. Be yourself and teach her how you do it. Explaining about addiction might not have as much need now as it did before and love still does. Practice your love with her...Love is the opposite of Fear...practice love because that is what she will need to carry with her too.

Reaching out to others; the police and asking for help and support is right...it will bring positive consequences along with the anger and resistence you are getting from your alcoholic/addict daughter...that's usual it can be detached from rather than defended any longer...do that with love also.

You are in my prayers Sama...just like the rest of this MIP family. (((((hugs))))) smile

redtara · Member

I can understand the very difficult place you are in and the trepidation you must feel regarding the outcome of any decision you make regarding calling the police on your daughter. I have called the police on my son a few times for breach of probation and driving without a license and no insurance. He's just spent 6 weeks in jail. I made these calls not only as a concerned mother but as a concerned citizen. When the welfare of others are at stake it is very difficult to do nothing. Your consciense will guide you. The first time I called the cops on him I was tied up into knots. I couldn't believe I had done it. I had sleepless nights and lots of stress. The second and third time was much easier and as I became clearer about why I was doing it I saw that I was acting in a way that would help bring his bottom much faster.
Ultimately, I had to ask myself if something really bad happened, and I had done nothing about it, would I be able to live with myself? I make the call and leave the outcome to the courts and police. Today, if my son drives again without his license or no insurance I will not hesitate to call the police. In all probability, he's driving drunk and high, putting himself and others at risk. I won't lose any sleep over it anymore either. I sleep better knowing I have done my part.
The difficult thing about reporting your daughter for driving without her license is it may be difficult to keep yourself anonymous. The cops would have to have some reason for pulling her over - they do in Canada anyways.
Good luck to you. I know what your going through. Your granddaughter is so lucky to have someone like you in her life. Keep taking care of yourself. Try not to obsess about it.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.