The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
says if my depression is that bad then maybe i should go check myself into the hospital,and she came online to ask me if i could make arrangements to come,that she was ver hurt over all this i told her i was even more hurt over it,then i thought about getting some antidepressants from my dr samples so i got my dr on the phone and they said yes so i told my daughter yayyyy she can get me enough meds to get me through,then she said its over she cant get the tickets anymore .huh....i told her how close i was to my mom and never held nothing against her.she was putting the guilt trip on me really bad,i just told her to adopt my g/kids a g/ma and to find her another mom that would suit her better......sooooo sorry i allowed her to ruin my serinty.she got hatefull with me then got offline,i prolly wont speak to her for a long while now,i spoiled her good raising her.now im getting it back.she expects me to be able to send packages over their to g/kids i cant afford and says i forget their b/days which i have that im not their other g/ma that died a yr ago so she says kids dont understand,ive got to unspoil my kids ,somehow w/o all the drama,ive been out hundreds on my son cause he is sick now and before i jus was barely getting by living single on a fixxed income,how should i deal with her any sug.plz r welcomed here,i love her and my g/babies more than life its self i dont understand,been doing alot of crying,nonsense,thinking about typing her back and telling her just how much i have spoiled her while raising and while she went through college and university,im the one that raised her kids i loved it then she nabbs them up her and her hubby and away they go and join airforce hurt me hurt bad,i know she is mad and hurt like she said but no need to throw all of this on me niether making me sound like im a sick and crazy ive had it with my 2 kids,they willshove me away one day i know when im old and feebleim stopped spoiling them and taking care of me and insisting that they can help me too,,,help....hugs chinup
I'm sorry that your daughter lacks understanding and doesn't know how to support you at this time. It's difficult, but let her feelings be hers; she generated them.
I don't recall if you attend Al-Anon meetings or have a sponsor. If not, I hope you seriously consider doing so. It helps to get support from those who do understand.
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
Forgot to share one other thing. Yesterday, at a family meeting at ex's rehab facility, the client and one of their family members or friend got up in front of the group to share their "feelings" about how the clients' addiction had effected them. A script was provided. All the participants had to do was complete the open-ended sentences with their feelings. All did well with sharing their feelings without blaming the other.
However, one mother and daughter showed the group what happens when sharing one's feelings, coupled with blame, is disasterous. The mom went first. She began with the script, but then she whipped out a letter from her pocket and asked the facilitator if she could read it to her daughter. It was a letter that pointed out all that the mother had done for her and how her daughter dumped on her (the mother). The daughter was not receptive to the criticism, especially in front of a roomful of people. The mother is obviously full of resentment, far too much harbored that prevents her from communicating effectively.
I know it's tough when we are hurting, but sharing one's feeling without blame is the only way to be heard. Otherwise you'll be shut out.
-- Edited by GailMichelle on Monday 13th of June 2011 06:45:08 PM
__________________
You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
thanx gail i really needed to hear that,ive never opened my mouth to my daughter just went along and let her keep putting me on the back burner and at the very bottem of totem pole and all her freinds and aunts that do nothing for her she gives themm all the glory.not even one pic. of me on her f/b.but u know im just gonna go and try to keep the focus on me despite all her bull and tc of me ..i gots too.she said she worked and dug really hard to find them tickets at that price.i told im soo sorry,cant do just cant.wished id never said enything to her dont know what iwas thinking,and no she dont understand .i dont know how to help her understand....hugs chinup
