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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> update ,of why i didnt go to england
Post Info TOPIC: update ,of why i didnt go to england
chinup


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update ,of why i didnt go to england
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i woke up 3am crying ,id been obsessing over and over about it and would wake up scared,but,the real reason for my not going is my depression hasnt gotten worse along with anxiety im having problems getting my right meds and daughter sprung this on me all in one min.i typed her a really long letter of reasons why and she called me at 3:30am we talked and talked ,yes she is disappointed ,so am i ,ive been holding back tears all day cryed enough at 3am,she says its ok ,but that she seems to think me leaving here and putting all this behind me would help,um i dunno dont wannna take a chance untill i get me straightened out and things here with my son.son is in bad health too,at least i got to her before she bought the tickets,im still feeling awfulll guilty over all this mess and why like she said say it in the beginning instead of getting everybody and my g/babies up set.im all they got,andim all my sons got,left all g/parents and parents have all passed away ,im it,i do miss them sooo bad and i did want to go sooo badly if only i could get someone to fly with me and give me that boost,i dunno then agin i think i need more time to prepare myself phisically and mentally,like getting my meds and going and visiting an airport and maybe even seeing if i can go inside a plane and look around to see what it looks like inside i dunno,its not good for me to take such a huge plunge all at once right now with all i got going on,dont know what on earthg i was thinking,daughter says that i have got alot going on here.my little yorky is my life also,he is now fixxen to be 5 y/o in aug.5th he is my shadow and sleeps with meand snuggles with me has since he was 7 weeks old.yes he will get sick and not eat or drink while im gone and if he dont get better after a week of being gone ill have to get back quik.i want to take him with me should i ever have another chance to go.but i dont see no way he can.he would go into shock to be taken away from me to a strangers hands to be locked up somewhere on the plane.he only weighs 4 lbs,and only knows me.i may never get another chance to go over daughter wont trust me agin after all this planning weeks of it...any esh plz i would apreciate it.i feel like a weaklyn....hugs chinup 



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flopadopilus


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 662
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Oh Chinup, you just weren't ready and you knew that. Keep working your program and hopefully the next time will be a go. Don't be so hard on yourself. Like you said you have a lot going on and maybe when things calm down, you will be the one to start planning the trip when you know it's time. I am sending you love and support. Hand your worries over to HP and know you are worth it!

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God grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference. 

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
youfoundme


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Being gentle on myself is always very hard. I beat myself up better than anyone out there. We have to learn through alanon meetings and getting a sponsor how to not do this. I hope you are getting to meetings... Take care!

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-youfoundme

Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
Jerry F


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It's okay sis...you made the choice and you can let the rest go.  Your reasons are your reasons and they are okay.  Bundle it all up, place it in your open hands and then extend your hands way up above your head and say, "Please take this.  I can't solve this on my own."  That has worked for me ever since I was taught it in the program.

Be loving with yourself as you are with others. Do a calm thing.  ((((hugs)))) smile



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Debilyn


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Good for you taking care of you! I told you I completely relate. I don't ever go over night as I just don't feel comfy doing that.

I do go do errands a few times a month. I love being home.

We have to do what we feel comfy with. I feel like hon, reasons don't matter, you just did not feel comfortable with it. Is there a quarentine time in England? I know a dog that small you can carry in a dog purse but I am not sure about to another country.

We have to take care of ourselves and know our limits hon, especially when we suffer from depression and loss.

sending you hugs! debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> update ,of why i didnt go to england