About my brother (new here) - Al-Anon Family Group

Revok · Newbie

About my brother (new here)

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Revok...glad you found MIP and jumped right in. You're doing the right thing...staying out of the way between your brother, his compulsion and obsession with alcohol and God. It does get bad enough where they will get so sick and tired of being sick and tired and they will cry out for a power greater than themselves. I know that at one time I wouldn't have believed that statement myself and that was before I found the Al-Anon Family Groups while in my second addiction marriage and I don't know just how many addiction relationships and I did find out that there is a Power Greater than myself and it is not me. Today I don't get in the way except to call on others better equipped than myself to properly help. Rescuing a drunk and having them stop drinking as a result is a rarely talked about experience and even then a Higher Power is involved. I didn't know anything about alcoholism and I didn't know that I didn't know so everything I did to rescue didn't work.

I called the hotline number for Al-Anon in my town, (after calling help in emotional trouble and the suicide prevention center...not for her for me) and I got help...real help for me so that I would not continue to be part of the problem and would be a part of the solution. The program saved my sanity, soul and life and then later without me trying to rescue at all my alcoholic went and got help.

Look for and call that number for Al-Anon in the white pages of your local telephone book. Get the meeting places and times where we meet to share and support with others so that they can learn how not to loose themselves in this disease. HP is with you and with your brother. Turn him over and get to the program. Keep coming back here also. You are not alone by any sense of the word. ((((hugs)))) smile

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Revok Welcome to MIP

So glad that you jumped right in!! I am so very sorry that you are dealing with this dreadful disease . It is a painful experience when a family member is so ill. You are doing well. Please remember that alcoholism is a disease and it affects everyone who comes in contact with it. You did not cause his illness, you cannot control it and you cannot cure it. We here have found that we cannot do this alone and can walk in life with courage, serenity and wisdom when we learn new tools to live with.

I would like to suggest that you reach out for support in your local community Face to Face Alanon :http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html Or call: 1-888-4alanon

Please keep coming back here You are not alone.

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Revok,

You're not alone and you are in the right place

I do not think I could have made my difficult decisions or carried the emotions I felt because of them without the tools and support of AlAnon. Exchanging experience, strength and hope with other people who understand can be life changing. Find some meetings, share here, read literature, it all really helps. Glad you found MIP.

Jen

Otie · Senior Member

Dear Revok, I have had to do the very same thing with a family member---and more than once. The hardest thing I ever have had to do. Anyone who has never done it can never know how hard it is to carry out. It is like doing something that is against our very nature.

Dear Revok, I know it doesn't come easily, but I believe that you are doding the "right thing".

I tell myself over, and over, and over that I am not turning my loved one away---I am turning the disease away. I am turning the disease away in order to LOVE my loved one.

Revok, maybe looking at it this way will help you.

Lovingly, Otie.

Revok · Newbie

Thank you so much for your responses and support. When I wrote my post I was feeling the pressure and feeling like a monster. There was so much guilt. Each one of your responses lifted that feeling. It is actually hard to describe the feeling, kind of like being welcomed into strength and compassion. I am amazed by it. I am so happy I found you all. Thank you.

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome here, I hope you keep coming back and posting! And that you find alanon near you.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.