Its good to be here, thankyou.  Thank you all for your support and E S and H over the last few days.  I feel much better today.  I have been speaking with my alanon friend and reading my literature and reading on here.  I have realized today that staying calm is really the only way to deal with someone who is drinking, for me.  When I remain calm things go so much better.  Last night for instance, I came home to him drunk, but I remained calm, we ate supper, he was happy and I was too.  We took a late day nap, and when we woke up he was not in a black out anymore and could talk with me.  He said "did we fight or anything?" I said no, I remained calm and we went to sleep.  He said "wow, thats good"  I know its sad that I have to fill him in on stuff, but this morning he said that all on his own, that he hates it.  I know from reading the AA big book, that the A's hate that they drink, and that its a compulsion and that they have to get a program and get spiritual to help them stop.  But he really does want to stop...just hasn't gotten there yet.  I like what Tom told me from the book Getting them sober.  That when we change and stop telling them we are gonna change, that they know it and that they finally know we are not looking to them as our tin-gods anymore...He truly does know when I am in a good place or not.  And if I keep to my side of the street, and keep using my new tools and keep going to meetings and posting here, I really, seriously feel better.

This spiritual program really does work guys, and if you get to meetings and find help and a sponsor (like I am trying to find), things go so much better.  Tom your line about they are going to drink or not what are you going to do?  I am carrying that with me today.  Thanks!

Off I go to do some photography at a wedding tonight.  Blessings!