The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
H in inpatient rehab. He was diagnosed as bipolar I with co-morbid substance abuse issues. I have a question.
He's commented that the people there are in their teens and 20's, most with court ordered rehab. He's 54. He feels as though there is no relating going on in either direction. I didn't return any comment so that he could own his feelings, but I think for me if I were in that situation I would want to feel as though I had someone there who could relate to me, in the same way one would want to be able to feel comfortable with a therapist. Does the success rate depend at all on how one feels with the people they interact with? He said the vast majority of the kids there don't seem to care and are going through the motions. This was an extremely hard step for him 10 yrs. in the making and he doesn't know what to think. The only thoughts I offered were to write down what he was feeling and speak to his pdoc.
Could someone give me feedback for my own personal information?
I suppose it would be nice to have someone else his age there, but like in Alanon, he would get more out of his rehab by focusing on himself and his own needs. In the big scheme of things it doesn't matter why anyone else is there. It only matters why HE is there.
Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
My ex is in an inpatient rehab, too. I went to a family meeting Sunday and noticed that with the exception of 1 other "mature" client, all the other clients were really young (18 - 25). The younger clients have drug addictions, not alcohol issues. I asked ex if it bothered him being with young drug addicts. So far, he doesn't seem to mind. This is Day 9 for him. H e still isn't thinking clearly. It will be interesting to see how he feels after this next week.
In addition, in only 8 days, there have been several altercations between the young clients. They get in verbal arguments, one was sent home. The ex says that it is very disruptive. Also, another young client was caught using drugs.
The first rehab facility that he was at seemed better. He didn't like it because it was attending a AA meeting 24/7. I don't trust his judgment right now.
__________________
You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
I suppose it would be nice to have someone else his age there, but like in Alanon, he would get more out of his rehab by focusing on himself and his own needs. In the big scheme of things it doesn't matter why anyone else is there. It only matters why HE is there.
Christy
So TRUE!
__________________
You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
When my ex first got out a of rehab and not yet ready to embrace sobriety, he quit AA because they were "a bunch of angry, whiny people", you know, so very different than him Then I remember after he became sober and was active in AA and some other groups, he told me that although the lifestyles and details were different, they were all the same. Blue collar, professional, unemployed, it didn't matter, they were all liars, addicts, thieves.. When he was ready, he saw the benefits of the similarities rather than the barriers of the differences.
Blessings, Lou
__________________
Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
If your H is there because he wants to be, because he wants to stop and change, then it may not matter how old the others are. My uncle went to rehab when he was in his 40's. He got better because he wanted to. And is still sober over 20 years later. My bf now is an alcoholic and addict and he is 31. He went to two rehabs being forced there by his parents. Because he didn't want it, he didn't get sober yet. He does sometimes think he is unique, we all do at some point. Are you going to Alanon meetings while he is away? It helps so much to go! Take care of you!
__________________
-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...