I haven't started a topic for a long time.  I just wanted you to know that "yes, Tom" I am still lurking around this site.  I usually read the topics and responses several times a week, read my daily meditations, and am still attending my F2F meetings weekly.  Things in my life are going pretty smoothly, I am happy to report.  My AH is still enjoying sobriety.  I asked him recently how he was doing and he stated that each day gets a little easier.  He attends AA 2 - 3 times a week and reads his meditations daily.

There are still things/issues that I struggle with. One is that I have to try and live in the moment as things could change with a snap of the fingers. As I am a long range type of gal, this has been hard for me, but I'm learning.  I try to mind my own business and keep working on me.

We have both worked hard at repairing our relationships with our friends/kids/grandkids. I have tried to become more dependable with them all. (While AH was out of control with his drinking - I was not very dependable with my stress issues). My AH has been working hard playing with the grandkids and building a relationship with them and helping our kids with things that they have questions about regarding homes/campers/repairs, etc... They have even started asking his advice again which I see as a huge step in the right direction.

I go out for supper with two of my girlfriends weekly and that has gotten easier for me to do. I was one of "those wives" that didn't want to leave my AH alone for a second unsupervised as he may break down and start drinking... but it has gotten easier over time and I realize it wouldn't matter if I was there or not if he decided to drink and I don't fret about it anymore. It is his life.

So, overall, I believe that I am making some great strides in the right direction. I do realize that this is a life long plan and I am planning for the long haul. (long term planning... LOL)  I couldn't be in this moment, at this time, or place, without this program. I probably would have had a complete breakdown and be in a insane asylum somewhere, as living in the insanity constantly was way too much for me.

I would like to thank each of you. I read your topics and replies and I have learned so much over the past year. Usually I don't comment because what I would have replied, had already been written. But, the ES&H that I read here, reinforces my life and the decisions that I make daily. 

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about learning to dance in the rain."