The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I drove a bus of 8th graders over a hundred miles to a mall for a shopping experience. I went to the new pirate movie, enjoyed lunch and browsing some of the shops (and got paid for my time, egads, i love this job!). I started driving bus this last year, its fun and brings me in contact with a lot of really NICE people who are really NICE to me!
Nice doesn't just happen - those people are nice to me because I'm a nice person who works hard and is nice and helpful to everyone who comes along. I fostered the bus driving relationship into a job that has now crossed borders into another school district and I meet people who make me so glad I fostered the relationship in the first place.
Today one of the people I came in contact with was someone I sorta knew from another line of work, caregiving, and she told me that all of the people she talked to said I was the absolute best person in a previous job of caregiving. God, what a day, thank you! - I have forgotten what i feels like to really KNOW how good of a person I am and how good life can be.
long pause, deep breath.
Sometimes I feel like a donkey following that carrot tied to a stick, tied to my back, head down and not looking up or around and just plodding along. But today? I feel really good - I am GREAT with kids; was at the park playing with Betsy the wonder dog (who has to suffer through long days of being home alone, and a trio of kids that i know from my bus driving, were in the park playing with us, it was so fun.
I forget sometimes, when mired down by the lows that this disease brings with it, how much life has to offer. My perspective gets skewed by the stresses i'm going through, my AH's words and accusations get me so down on myself. But days like today are gold.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Thank you so much for sharing that. I had a rough night tonight. Actually the last several month have been rough. Pretty common I think among us all. Your post was a good reminder to "look up". I think if I remind myself to look up more I just may be surprised at what might see.
I'm so glad you had such a happy day. Your day made me smile, I needed a smile. So thank you for making me smile before I go to bed!!
Thanks for the post. Makes me tear up. I know what you mean. I, too, work in caregiving and recently had great success story. This family really likes me, and today after a particular interaction, the daughter of the patient said, "you're really cute". I just looked at her, and realized how taken aback I was by the comment. i think I said something like, "thanks, tell my kids, they don't think I am cute". That was the beginning of the day. May day ended with a barrage of verbal assaults from my son."
It is hard to feel the good when the negative is so very powerful. The comment of "looking up" reminds me of something a counselor once said. He spoke of a Japanese Garden and how the rocks are one size, then suddenly change to a different size or type. As a result, the sound of walking may go from CRUNCH, CRUNCH, to crunch, crunch, causing one to pause and look up. He said they are designed that way. I agree we all need to look up more often to see what is really there. A gratitude list helps me with this.
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
I enjoyed your post, it made me smile. You deserved a good day and you gave one to yourself. Your awareness proved that every rose doesn't in fact have a thorn.
Thank you so much for this posting! I had to laugh at the donkey with the stick and carrot tied to it, I love a good analogy. Yeah so nice to hear when people find such a happy moment!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
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