very nervous, not sure how all of this works - Al-Anon Family Group

nsnyder304 · Newbie

very nervous, not sure how all of this works

kitty · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to alanon and MIP! The best way to get into alanon is to go and check out some local mtgs and listen and learn. They have pamphlets there and you can exchange phone numbers on the list (if you want to) and get some names of people to talk with. Reaching out is the first step, so congradulations.

I would say take your time when it comes to life altering decisions and allow yourself some time and space to see what works best for you. The first thing we must learn is to practice focusing on us and not them or what they are or are not doing. Focus on you to get your life back from the disease & what will allow you to feel better.

In alanon you will learn coping skills that will improve your life, it is a learning process that is all about you~ recovery is self discovery.

I sent you a PM that has a few links to a CAL (Conference Approved Literature -Al-anon) pamphlet, that may help. Welcome.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha NS...welcome to the board. It's good you found MIP because there is support and help here which you already started getting from Kitty. I relate to your post well and it reminds me how alcoholism was entrenched in my life and with my alcoholic and addict. I didn't know anything about alcoholism and the disease...nothing, zip, nada and so I was a detriment to her sobriety. This disease is a family disease...it controls and manipulates all the members of the family at different levels in different roles. It is important that when recovery in one share or another hits one member of the family that the other members start learning how to live without reacting to it or else recovery will hardly work in the family unit. I was a very slow learner regarding alcoholism and when my alcoholic spouse came home from an AA meeting one evening and asked if I thought she was alcoholic, knowing nothing about it, I said no and she went back out again. We lost everything of value in our relationship including the material stuff.

How it works....fine the hotline number for Al-Anon in the white pages of your local telephone book and call to get the meeting places and times where we get together. Then go as early as you can. Make sure you hit the literature table cause there is a lot of information available to you on your condition and part in alcoholism. Find a chair...there will be lots of empty ones you can use. Sit down listen, learn, and after the meeting talk to the other membership and listen to their ESH...Experience, Strengths and Hope which you can borrow from for yourself and then get phone numbers from the membership who are willing to stick by you and support your own recovery. Al-Anon is named the Family Group for those who have been affected by somebody elses drinking. I hope you get to a meeting shortly and keep coming back here. (((((hugs))))) smile

nsnyder304 · Newbie

thank you both so much. It's so comforting to know that im not alone. I found an al-anon meeting right in my neighborhood. they meet every Sat. I'm gonna go to the next one this wkend. I'm very nervous but very optomistic at the same time. I am experiencing so many different feelings & emotions all at once it seems like. I'm looking forward to meeting peolpe who are experiencing the same things as I am. I feel like I have missed out on so much because I was so wrapped up in my husbands addiction, like tending to him when he was drunk, wondering where he passed out when he wasn't home, just trying to keep his dirty little secret from everybody. It's gonna be weird to not do thoose things anymore. Again thank you both sooo much! Good luck to you both.

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to Miracles In Progress where you will meet an receive replies from others who have been effected by the disease of alcoholism. We are all different, with a different set of circumstances, yet all the same because of the toll the disease has taken on us and from us. We don't give advice only our experience, strength, and hope.......what worked for us.

It's a great first step coming to MIP. My ES&H to you would be to do what others including myself did when the disease had consumed our thoughts and actions. Find an Al-Anon face to face meeting in your area where you will find the help you need from other members like yourself who will understand you as perhaps no one else can. Listen to what they have to say, put all the focus on yourself, and like me an others your life will get better....One Day At A Time.

Your not alone anymore !!

HUGS,
RLC

WAJess · Member

NS, thank you for your post! It hit home.
nsnyder304 wrote:
thank you both so much. It's so comforting to know that im not alone. I found an al-anon meeting right in my neighborhood. they meet every Sat. I'm gonna go to the next one this wkend. I'm very nervous but very optomistic at the same time. I am experiencing so many different feelings & emotions all at once it seems like. I'm looking forward to meeting peolpe who are experiencing the same things as I am. I feel like I have missed out on so much because I was so wrapped up in my husbands addiction, like tending to him when he was drunk, wondering where he passed out when he wasn't home, just trying to keep his dirty little secret from everybody. It's gonna be weird to not do thoose things anymore. Again thank you both sooo much! Good luck to you both.

flopadopilus · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP and I am glad to hear you are attending face to face meetings! It sounds like you are on your way and I am sending you love and support!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.