Nearly impossible to concentrate on me right now! - Al-Anon Family Group

sdisnie · Senior Member

Nearly impossible to concentrate on me right now!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

ugh! Hon more people are being denied than most. What you need is a mortgage expert that takes care of getting you a mod. The banks and mortgage com. want you to lose your home.

It's a huge mess.

theres a program for people that you can see a lawyer for thirty five bucks. Lawyer referral service. Legal aid can guide you to one if you have it in your state.

I tell ya, walking away is the best thing I ever did. I was so tired of the harrassment.

Many people are finding another home to get their lives back to a calm place. Myself I like not being responsible for upkeep etc.

Again I talked to people in the know before I made any decisions.I was not going to do anything against my beliefs to keep my home, They wanted me to pad my income, in other words lie.

It will be ok. Do you have someone to talk to to problem solve? i know all too well how they end up comfy while we hurt. thank Hp my kids were grown. As you know his bolony still hurts me. I need a car or pick up so bad, My windows won't roll up and its freaking cold! Plus the rain comes in.

I could buy anything I wanted before his disease. so I know.

but i also know you can do it, I would sit down and and make a circle on a tablet in the middle I would write needs. then extend rays out and put housing, food, etc the out from those the goals on how to make that happen.

First things are shelter and a good vehicle. I am sad you are losing your house too. But you don't know what is coming. At least you can find something you can afford then that stress goes away.

I looked at my tiny income and thought Ok I am living in a tent. I could only afford so little. that day my cabin was on CL very affordable, beautiful.

Faith is so important.

Keep coming,let it out., hugs,love,deb

sdisnie · Senior Member

Thank you so much Deb.....I'm really trying hard to hold it together for the sake of my kids, i'm really all they have, so it's up to me to make sure we come out of this ok! I will just keep looking forward and pray that God will help me stand up to A, move forward and not let A keep trying to hurt me, which is obviously his goal! And I'm just going to call him a big _______!!! Because it's not really me he's hurting....its the kids who's lives are turned upside down by his choices! _____!

Otie · Senior Member

Dear sdisnie, congratulate yourself on every tiny victory. Today it is a victory that you are still standing and have determination in your belly. It shows that you are tough. Your kids are benefiting from your strength---even if you can't see it right now.

An important lesson that I learned when my 3 kids were young and I was going through tough survival times was how to aggressively seek the knowledge and help from others who knew more than me. Information/ knowlege will set you free. LISTEN TO DEBILYN. Legal back-up is a necessity for you. Comb the internet for information about sources for help. Talk to anyone and everyone who know more than you. If you are carring any false pride (and chances you are, if you are human)----Shed it. It is a burden that willl hold you back.

sdisnie, the most humble abode with peace of mind is better that the grandest mansion without it. I have experienced this.

Good job, sdisnie. March forward.

Love, Otie

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

Otie wrote:
sdisnie, the most humble abode with peace of mind is better that the grandest mansion without it. I have experienced this.

I got a lot out of the feedback you received from all who responded. This quote, by Otie, really struck home with me this morning.

A few years ago, I left our comfortble home that is nestled in a wonderful neighborhood. I moved into a very modest apartment. I still recall the feeling of peacefulness that I experienced while living there for 8 months before returning home.

Her quote is so, so true.

sdisnie, you can rise to this challenge. Take it a day at a time. Keep in mind, many of us had had similar challenges and have overcome them, coming out on the other side a much more stronger, wiser person. Keep coming back!

-- Edited by GailMichelle on Sunday 5th of June 2011 10:53:24 AM

Loupiness · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Shanda~

it is not fair, and it stinks! I am going to pm you...

Lou

Loupiness · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Shanda~

I am right there with you. In our divorce, my ex got the business and properties associated with it and I got the house. My ex filed bankruptcy on the properties so now they are coming after me since my name was on the loans. Turns out the banks don't care about the divorce agreement, so I get to file bankruptcy too. Oh, and I have no other debt either. It sucks! Now, I have been told that they cannot take my house in Chapter 7, especially with the low market and exemptions, but I got a letter yesterday saying my house was in bankruptcy. Huh? It must be because my ex's name is on it, but he did not specifically list in in his filing. I am in the process of refinancing to get the house in only my name, and now it may not go through. I am current on my payments. Anyway, trying not to panic and will be talking to an attorney in the morning.

So, my question for you is... are your certain your house will be taken in the bankruptcy? I do not know if laws are state to state or federal, but from what I understand, with Chapter 7 your house is protected, and if there isn't a decent amount of equity they don't want it anyhow. Not worth it. Or is it all because you are behind on the payments? It is so confusing..

Hang in there. Easier said than done I know, but try not to panic. I have done that, and it doesn't help. The best thing we can do is to arm ourself with info by talking to the appropriate people. On the not so horrific side, so many people have been forced into bankruptcy, it is said that it will not have the same stigma it used to. Also, the return to credit is more a matter of a couple of years, not 7 or 10.

I also know what you mean about the continuous chaos making it so difficult to move on. I'm sorry. I hope you can take it one day at a time. I truly can only handle one crisis at a time at this point in my life. Having to worry about having a roof over you heads must be very stressful. God will take care of you, Shanda, I really believe that.

Lou

sdisnie · Senior Member

Lou.....thank you! I'm so sorry for what you're going through as well!! It really isn't fair...and I think it's ok to say it's just not fair! I've already seen an atty, and if i was current (which I would have been if the ex could pay his support instead of spending all his money on himself) I could have filed a 13 and kept the house, I could still file a 13 and keep the house, but the mortgage is just to high....it was different when he was here with me, but I cannot rely on his to pay, and there's no way I can make it on my own here.....Not only that, but even though I LOVE my home, and have put so much into it.....maybe it's best to get away from it, and the memories and put all pieces of him behind me once and for all! he's damaged me beyond repair and I just need as far from him as possible!

At this point I dont even know what I feel more scared about....him taking me to court over something so absolutely ridiculous....or not knowing where I"m going to live next!

I'm just going to keep having faith that it will all work out in my favor this time! And for you too!!!

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