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So, had court today. When AH found out that he was not going to be allowed to come back home, he freaked. Started getting irate with me, and telling me that I didn't support him at all in this whole thing. According to him, my lawyer, my counsellor and the CAS are all wrong, and I am scared of all of them, and will only do things to please them and myself. That I don't care about him at all. He thinks that I shouldn't listen to anyone else but him. And because I haven't been listening to him, and following the advice from people who fully understand the law, he got even more angry. He went as far as to go to the court office to get the papers to file for divorce. He said he was filing and was going to sign off his parental rights, just because he said he is tired of jumping through hoops for everyone, and that he has no one backing him up and supporting him. He got more upset when I had no reaction. I was just like... ok... so... if that's what you need to do..
He told me that it was sad because I was pushing something good away. I told him same to you.
I am saddened to see him in such a state, but on the other hand, proud of myself that I didn't react to his threats. There were no tears, no yelling... alot of asking HP to help me get through it.
Anyway, court has been put of now until August. All I'm going to do is enjoy my time with the kids, and work on myself some more.
Wow is right. I'm so new to all of this so might be using the right words here but your courage is so inspiring and just gives me more hope that I will be able to find my back bone and use it when I need to. Great job and thanks for sharing !!
I had court yesterday too and I can pretty much relate to your post from getting the spill about not supporting the A to not listening to them and doing what the A told me to do. It is so sad to see the sickness progress into something this destructive. I too am focusing on myself and my kids and trying to let him deal with himself with me out of the way, because even after all these months my A is still blaming me for some things that just doesn't make sense to a rational brain (mine) anymore. My sponsor has helped me deal with his insanity so well and I am actually happy to be strong enough to be independent of my A. Sending you support and love!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
Oh wow - good job for you! That must've been tough, but you were a class act! Way to work your program, not get sucked in, and not play the game! Keep up the good work!
Well done Evian... sounds like he was trying the classic form of manipulation (i.e. if I threaten divorce, I will surely get my way), and you didn't engage.... awesome example of 'detachment with love'....
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
