The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This past Weekend...My Husband & I were the only ones to go on the Kayaks, and I had never floated that area of River Before & the Veiws were Breathe Taking... I got to See 3 Bald Eagles, 1 Baby Bald Eagle, and Critters Gallore...
You know when I am sitting out on a River by myself, & My Husband is 1/2 mile across the river contently fishing & its just Me & HP.... WOW... Eveytime I looked around I Saw things that Took my Breathe away... The Trip was a little over 4 hours, but it was so nice... the water because of the rise was bitter Cold, but in my kayak I only have to touch the water by choice, and with the heat well into the 90's... I did't have a prob Cooling off even in 50 degree water :(
This Journey to Recovery has handed me Blessing after Blessing... Yesterday My 3rd Grandbaby was Born, Healthy & Beauitful... And tho she is an Amazing Gift from God, I also Got to Witness things that I never would have noticed before... My Husband & His Oldest have always butted Heads, because they are Alike in ALOT of ways... But To be standing there yesterday, watching My Husband Help His 36 Year old "1st time Dad" Son get Dressed & Suited up with Smiles Beaming from them Both... Was Just a Wonderful thing... Seeing the Pride in My Husbands face as he Made it to see Grandbaby #3 born ... Was One of the Biggest Blessings Ever... And Seeing my Step Son Who thought he would Never Have Kids, Have his First... Amazing Gifts :)
My Husband Runs a Small Company that He has Managed to Keep Running for the Last 25 years... Him Taking a Couple Hours off on Our BUSIEST day of the year ... Well that in its Self is a Miricle... But I Worked some Magic, and Got me a Stand in Secretary, and Back up Service Guy... And Off we Went...
It was Planned to be a Super Long Day because my Boy had a Soccer Game, that evenning, but I Got Stranded at the Hospital till my Step son Could bring me home (Husband had to go back to work of Course) So Again I had to work some Magic & My Momma Jumped in and Got my Boy to the Game on Time, & then Thanked me for Asking her since it was just time Spent with Her & My Son Alone... Very Rare in this Busy world we live in... That was the 1st Soccer Game I have missed and Tho I did feel Really bad about it, after Hearing from my Mom I Knew It happened the Way it Should have...
And Since I wasn't 45 mintues from home at the soccer game, I also Got to Squeeze in a F2F Meeting with One of the Best Gals Around She has been Unbelievable Help in my Recovery, and her Wisdom Never Ceases to Amaze me ...
Our Meeting was on: "Sticken Thinkin" N Self Respect which is something I can Always Use a Helping hand in... I never Realized how BAD I am At "Stickin Thinkin" till I really start to break it down... All My Life, I have been belittled, talked down to, criticized, Judged, Ignored, & Pushed to the side... and in return I have done the Same of Others... Not that I enjoy it ... Just that is what was Normal in my Life... That is how I Kept on Going... Knock others down in order to Build Myself up... I have been Working Really Hard to Remove myself from the People that Continue that Path... I Have them all around me, and alot of it is my fault due the fact that is the people I attracted in my life because of my Own Life Choices...
This Program has given me more then I Could have ever Imagined on My Own... I have learned how to Accept Serenity, instead of Chaos, I have Learned to Listen instead of Always Have Something to Say... I have Learned that the More I Put in... The More I Get back... And I have learned that the People I Surround myself with if I don't have Boundrys' will Bleed their "Drama/ Disease" Back into my life if I don't Stay IN My Program...
I Still have Moments of Weakness Like the Next Person, I Still Have days were I think... WOW... What just happened here, and How did I Let this happen again... But I have also Learned when to Detach & When to Just Step Back... If My Mind is Not Set Straight on How or Why Someone Or Something is Bothering me, then it is MY Job to Find out What that is... Not the Job of others...
I know longer Need Fixed... I just Need Adjusted on a Daily Basis :0) I have learned from the Love & Support that this Program has given me that I AM Worth it, and I CAN no Matter what the Cost... I CAN....
So... HP Has been Holding me Up for all these things in my Life, and I know that He will be there to walk with me thru the rest...Knowing I am Never Alone was a Great Realization to have after feeling so Alone all my life...
So... I have many Memory's to Hold in my Heart from Yesterdays Little Bundle of Joy that was Delivered Healthy & Beautiful & Her Mom is Doing Great .... I told my Step Son that I was Most Grateful that he had handed me My 1st "Huggable HARLEY" :0) Her Name is Harley Christine.... Could not Be Any more on Top of the world with the Blessing that just keep Coming as Long as I keep My Eyes Wide Open, and My Mouth SHUT!!! :) Who knew something so Simple Could make Such a Differance in my Life...
Thank You ALL for Being here, and Thanks for always Encouraging me to Go Forward! I am Forever Grateful for all My Many Blessings... & You All Are on that List....
I am so happy for you. What a wonderful share , Thank You.
I found that my level of Self Esteem decreased in direct portion to my Stinkin Thinking. My sponsor gave me several exercises to let go of the negative thoughts and explained that true Self Esteem( not ego) is developed by Doing Esteem able Actions. I never forgot that and it is so true.
I too would like to welcome Harley Christine to this wonderful world that is so full of
Congratulations! Thank you for that inspiring share.
You said "Could not Be Any more on Top of the world with the Blessing that just keep Coming as Long as I keep My Eyes Wide Open, and My Mouth SHUT!!!"
And trying to rush or force outcomes is something I have been struggling with later. I am trying to be responsible and have all good intentions but I needed a good reminder that sometimes there is a far more important timetable to let happen. Tonight I will make a special effort to start practicing seeing the beautiful happenings around me instead of trying to make everything that needs to be done before school starts for summer get done faster.
Wow thanks for sharing. Love the gratitude and what an eye-opener about this thing called stinking thinking - boy do I need to learn about that.....or how not to do that!!!! Gosh I want to read, learn, do whatever I can on this topic now for I realise now that this is exactly what has taken my serenity from me today - or I have allowed it too. And I am sure, many, many other days. I have much gratitude for your share!
She has been Unbelievable Help in my Recovery, and her Wisdom Never Ceases to Amaze me ...
