Today I feel good.  I had a good last few days actually.  Even though bf drank Saturday, I didn't react and I remained calm.  We had a good relaxed day actually and I took a lot of time to just be in the moment.  I can be happy or I can get upset.  Its a lot nicer to be happy.

So Sunday and Monday were extra nice because he didn't drink and we had a great time (liquor stores were closed here those days and he doesn't stock up the day before).  Yesterday he drank, and I struggled with it, but I still didn't react.  Didn't get upset.  He was in a black out, but he is silly and not mean, so I just asked him if he wanted to go to bed and he did.  After he slept a while he woke up and wasn't in a black out anymore.  He asked me what happened, I calmly told him.  He said he had no recollection of getting home or anything, I had picked him up from a job interview...anyway, while he was sleeping, I took my son to play at a playground and I got brave and called a person from my meeting that I like.  She didn't answer, but just hearing her voice on the machine helped me take heart and feel not so alone.  She called back after I got my son to bed.  She really encouraged me and made me understand how well I was doing, and also gave me an idea about getting to the meeting tonight.  I told her I wasn't sure if I could go because I didn't know if my bf would be able to watch my son tonight.  She said "give a little trust here, you will know if he isn't up to doing it if you ask him in the morning"  So I did just that.  I asked him if he could watch my son so I could go to the meeting.  He said "yes, for sure".  So I am going :)

And as for the "spiritual message" I spoke of in my subject line?  I work in an office at the front desk.  I get a lot of people that walk in to pay their bills.  People I don't know and don't know me.  This man just came in.  And somehow we got to talking about kids and life.  He said he just talked with this lady that had finished college and then gotten offered a really great job.  He then looked at me and said "You get out of life what you put into it.  Take it one day at a time and stay happy!"  then he walked out the door.  Ok God (HP), thanks for that!  What a great message :)  I really believe I needed to hear that today :)  I felt like I got a warm and loving hug from my hp just then.... AHHHHHHH :)