The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I run a day home where I care for multiple children. Yesterday I was sick but worked anyways so parents would not have to find alternate care in the morning. I did let them know I would not be working today. I am still sick and cannot care for multiple children without strain on me physically. I sent an email to the parents letting them know I am still sick and will not be open tomorrow.
I am dreading how upset the parents will be. I hate that they care for themselves and stay home from work when they are sick, but expect me not to do the same. I feel so guilty for caring for myself and am dreading the responses. Uggg. I know I am doing what I need to do and it is valid, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with the negative expectations and responses from clients.
Self employment sucks sometimes. I was not like this with my old childcare provider. I wish people were more understanding.
Why do you feel guilty? You are doing everybody a favor by staying at home getting better on your own. I hope you feel better soon take care of yourself
No need for guilt. My son's sitter is a self-employed woman like yourself. Stuff happens and she has to be closed ... just like stuff happens and I have to stay home from work. Just life - nothing you could've done differently, and no reason you should feel guilty for being human. Get lots of rest and feel better soon!
I feel that way as well, but my clients don't and I guess the right word is pressure, not guilt. It is hard when self care does not come naturally. Well it does now, but not in this particular area.
the alternative would be to try to work, give inadequate care and expose your "kids" to whatever bug has hold of you?
__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Although your illness may be inconvenient for the parents, from my point of view if they don't have a back up person it's their fault. That's just part of being responsible.
take care of yourself,
christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
You don't have anything to feel guilty about. I can definitely relate to feeling bad about stuff I know I should not have to feel guilty about. I then keep telling myself I should not feel bad and, if it was a friend in my shoes, what would I think/ tell her? We are alwAys hardest on ourselves.
When my daughter was younger she was also in a home run day care type business. The woman was sick from time to time and sure, it is an inconvenience, but I was never mad or whatever else negative at her. if she was sick once a week every Friday or something well then I would have found another provider!
Go take are of you. :) I hope you feel better soon!
It is the nature of the beast. You provide such an essential service. But, what else can you do? You are right, self employment has its advantages, but there are the downsides too.
I was sick most of January and February of this year, I do understand the fear of calling in sick... as a codie, I sure don't wanna disappoint anyone, god forbid!
Of course, those thoughts don't stay with me long anymore, thanks to a program of recovery. By now, I know that there are things I simply cannot control... like being sick. Things I cannot control are God things, it's the way things are meant to be. I don't always agree with em, but.... I am not God. hehe!
Remember sweetie... you work for a Bigger Boss.
__________________
The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Well I sit here this morning short 2500 dollars in my bank account as people didn't pay me on their due date. That was one of the responses to me being sick that I was dreading. The guilt trips I can ignore and the whining.
The good part is that they needed care for their children this morning so they didn't get that till they paid, plus the late fee.
This isn't all about being worried about what others think, only in part. The rest is running a business and getting paid.
I set a very strong boundary this morning and had one of the parents slamming my doors on the way out due to the late fee. Wow. I let her know if she did that again she would have an immediate termination and let her know that behavior is not acceptable here.
I also set another boundary about payment so people can no longer be late. How pathetic is that.
-- Edited by clep on Thursday 2nd of June 2011 01:55:35 PM
I was powerless over being sick. Not a thing I could do about it, a virus that lasted four whole weeks. Like you, I worried about not getting paid for all the times I called in sick. One word kept presenting itself to me......... humility. After all the loss in the past, I finally felt I had no choice but to express to Higher power, "okay, have Your way then."
And, "Thank you, God, I trust You."
The old timers told me that if I began to build a trust... a true relationship with Higher power... everything I needed would fall into place. So, that became my focus, my life became a constant prayer. Very shortly afterward, out of the blue, a large amount of money appeared, far exceeding the amount that I had lost.
God doing for me what I cannot do for myself.
The steps show me how to build that relationship. There are no adequate words for me to express how grateful I am to the Universe for placing these twelve steps in front of me.
__________________
The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
