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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ugh
Post Info TOPIC: ugh
Debilyn


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ugh
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ashamed I do still relate. Been years now.

Last night I dreamed I ran into this house and it was ex Ah's. Some icky people were hurting me physically, threatening me to pay them lots of money or else.

My son was with me about 9yrs. old. I found myself standing and being in A's arms. I remember feeling safe and loved. I remembered how it felt to have him take the heaviness off me of life 

Then I am running away protecting my son from the bad people. All I wanted was to feel safe w/ AH again. Then the usual, "I want to go home."

I wake up and feel heavy. Years later and it is still inside me.

Of course everything is ok.Well gotta say for the first time in my life, here in Oregon, I am so tired of the weather. I almost never let it bug me. We are living in a grey raincloud. One day it is warm and blue sky like summer. then days of grey.

BUT I am so thankful Oregon does not have the weather our dear friends are suffering thru in the mid to south states. I know its strange but I can feel the crying, wailing and sobbing coming from there.

Usually I can pay attention to here in my little space. But the world is going thru so much pain.

Then just now I look out to my deck. There is this tiny thumbsized bird. Has a light peacock blue head, grey underneath and black wings with white. Stellers are out there mad as I need toput food out. chipmunk is sitting up eatinga peanut. River is so loud. Have four dogs all around me so warm\\\\\ oops and a tiny kitten, tinker, climbing on m =======MY
keyboard, attacking my arm...and hand.

Gotta find the energy to go get a few more things at the house,and pile up my last panels to bring up here. am going to fence in part of the woods for the mongrels. Just want to go back to sleep.

wrote to my best friend in La. told him I need some affection. He will probably tell me to get it together and slug me,and call me a punk. He is so sweet. haha just how we are.

hope ya'll have a serene day. love,deb ps the kitten is spose to learn to be a mouser. I hope. she found her purr this morn!



-- Edited by Debilyn on Wednesday 25th of May 2011 09:38:41 AM

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Jennifer


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((((((Deb))))))
On the run, late to work. Just wanted to send a big hug.
Jen

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youfoundme


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((((Debi)))) your posts always warm my heart! And you have helped me in more ways than you know :) I have seen great things here on this board and those pictures are awesome :) Thank you for your share!

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GailMichelle


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Nice pics! Hope you have a joyful day too!

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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
Otie


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Dear Deb.  I've been looking for your next post.  Miss hearing about you and Oregon!

I am sooo envious that you have the baby kitten.  I want to reach into the picture and grab it and just eat it up!!!!!  I can think of few delights in this life as delicious as a newborn kitten to dote on.  Better than food.  Better than sex.

How did you come by tinker?

Now, I'm going to go and make a veggie sandwich with fresh cheeze and whole wheat bread.

Love, otie



-- Edited by Otie on Wednesday 25th of May 2011 01:52:13 PM

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tommyecat


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Deb, I just love the pictures.  Thanks for posting them all.  I do so enjoy hearing about your corner of the world.   Oregon is a place I 've always wanted to visit.  I have been told by many people how beautiful and peaceful it is. 

 

thanks for sharing :)



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Debilyn


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Hugs back Jen. As always give your mugboy a hug and give the cat a pat..love..

TC yes Oregon really is pretty. Washington is too. So many places to go natural things and neat museums, the zoo is cool, the beach, desert.Lotsa waterfalls.

Most the people are very nice too.

Its hard on California people who move here. Oh I am glad you enjoyed the pics. Isnt that a pretty fish?

lol otie how ya doing honey? lol yep well I didn't want another cat. But mice like it up here too much. I do love cats but with me its like potato chips. After having twenty ugh.

Stinker hon. tinker. She is so funny, is not afraid of the dogs one tiny bit. She is smaller than my Great Pyrs ear! She was sleeping w tavish this morn. Then she was biting his ear and kicking it.lol Hes my Basset.

OH you meant how did i get her? I actually looked. Wanted a black one or tabby. I like to adopt ones most don't want. She is perfect. Wanted a female as they are better hunters.

(C:

Gail its fun to put pics on here. My darn fb got eaten somehow. Gotta get online and get the tech to fix it for me. My friend drove me around to do errands. Was nice spending time with her. HAD to go to Goodwill to get me some books. I read Ann Rule books.. just want I need living up here in the mountains alone! lol eh no one would dare come to my door. hugs

you found me I am so glad you have "stuck" around and are gleaning the wonderful peoples words here. MIP people for long periods of time were the only family I had. Its priceless to me to be here too.

Makes me happy that what I share helps some. Its only my experience, all I know my life grew into being so good from the skills I learned here. Ya know hon Igotta stay too,my ex ah taught me a lot to for being willing to share the other side with me.Helped me to really understand.

hugs!

 



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
pinkchip


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Who's the hot fisherman?

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