The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It started five years ago when I was 19, trying to single-handedly care for my schizophrenic sister while mom and dad were still in denial about her condition. Although mom and dad are now helping her and not in denial any more, I still have often felt stressed out by her (long phonecalls to discuss whether or not life is worth living, whether or not she should stay on her meds, etc.).
We were both at the same university when she first got sick, and in addition to looking after her, I was taking 6-8 classes per semester to try to finish within the time period covered by my scholarship.
Throughout my time at university, I frequently felt exhausted, and barely managed to pull off assignments at the last minute, but somehow I still managed to do everything.
Graduated, FINALLY managed to get a job... where I work ten-hour shifts, doing customer service, and since I'm on night-shift, I'm on my own, no managers/engineers to fall back on unless I make a judgement that a situation is serious enough to be worth waking one of them up.
I eat well. I exercise moderately. I'm getting enough sleep. I'm doing very well at work. I don't have the energy to lift my arms off the armrests of my chair. I. Am. Just. Tired. Exhausted. Burned-out.
...and I'm trying to detach from my sister and minimize my other sources of stress, but I feel like it's not making a difference, that my battery is already well past drained and that just getting away from my stress now isn't going to be enough to recharge it.
Even when I have a day off with nothing to do and nothing to worry about, I still feel stressed-out, exhausted, and in crisis mode. I don't know how to turn it off. It's not depression -- I've been put on a few different anti-depressants before (for anxiety) and it didn't change. I am just really, really tired and burned out. And I don't think just taking a bubble-bath and calling it "me time" is going to fix that.
I'm sure I'm not the first person to come to Al-Anon so utterly and completely exhausted and burned out... has anybody figured out how to get their energy back?
-- Edited by atheos on Sunday 22nd of May 2011 02:19:52 AM
I had a dear friend look at me one day and say you are exhausted. I can see it, can't you? I knew I was tired but I was not aware at all. I would drive home from work and have no memory of doing so. I would be talking to friends and could not hold the details of the conversation. I was awake but my mind was going to another place and fall asleep, I don't know where but I was checking out. I wasn't able to stay present in the moment not out of fear in my life, just out of sheer exhaustion
For me I discovered I was doing too much and I had to slow down and be still. I was a human doing not a human being. I was able to discover that by spending more quiet time alone with my HP in that silence I was able to rest and strengthen my mind and body. One of the techniques I used was "Be Still And Know That I am God" Say it over and over and through each run I dropped one word off the end until I finally got down to just "BE".
It really work today for me as it did many years ago when I heard it said in my homegroup. I hope that helps.
I have just had a major burn out after years of working so hard taking care of others and neglecting my own self care, everything else was always more important. Well my higher power brought me to my kness and I had to stop and tak notice. We are all responsible for ourselves and I today am taking responsibility for my self care. I am a single mum, work full time, have a partner with a drink problem, an ex husband who is a compulive gambler and much more. I was reading the other day about boundaries and it mentioned interanl emotional boundaries. I never had any of these I would sit on the phone fr hours listening to other peoples problems night after night. I no longer do this. I have just taken time off work were I forced myself to do absolutley nothing except watch tv, sleep, go for walks, build a closer connection with my HP and self, extra meetings and my strength is back. But I have made other long term changes. I gave extra responsibility to my children, I talked to manager about how stressed I was and needed to cut back at work (I was doing my job and others) I finally looked at my unmanageable life and made positive changes for me instead of trying to fix everyone elses. Today I am trying to have a good relationship with myself, love anf care for me its hard but its working I feel so muh happier.
you are powerless over others is your life unmanageable?? Hp can retore you to sanity if you hand over your life and will to him. I hope you can work your programme for you al anon will love you till you can love yourself.
Dear atheos. I relate. I have felt the burnout at times in my life also. Please heed the tried and true advice from the other posters.
I will mention one other thing that people sometimes forget. It is all the more important if you have been under great stress for a long time. Make sure to get a physical exam and make sure that physical reasons are also ruled out. There have been times when i have seen people suffer from such things as anemia, thyroid problems, etc. , while they attributed their whole problem to stress alone.
Hopefully, you are just fine--but, I am just saying...
It does sound like you are already taking strides to take care of yourself. Good for you!
Love, Otie
-- Edited by Otie on Sunday 22nd of May 2011 11:58:08 AM
Burn out for me is when I am in a deep depression. I have learned ways to get myself back out and those ways include: Taking a hot bath, forcing quiet time on myself, reading a good book, going to the library or used book store, spending time with my kids, reading on this board, talking to a good friend, working in the flower garden, sitting in the sun...that said, its hard to get myself motivated to do those self care things. Alanon meetings have helped me tremendously as have reading the literature and reading the AA big book..just some thoughts...
__________________
-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
