The material presented
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I am so glad I went. My bf had an interview yesterday and proceeded to drink into a black out afterwards...so around 5:30 we got home, ate and I left to take my son to karate and get me to the meeting. Around 7pm the meeting began. HE called me right at 7, my phone was off so I didn't hear it (thank the gods) and also texted me a few times during the meeting. He wanted me to stop on the way home and get him another beer (20oz). I got done with the meeting at 8:15 (ended a bit early) and he texted me, and I showed it to some of the women there that stayed after to talk with me. It was so nice to have complete strangers stay and chat with me, and support me in not answering the text. I said "what do I do?" they said "do nothing, don't answer, go get your son, and get home right after the liquor store closes. you can tell him you forgot your phone was off if he asks" So that is what I did. I didn't answer, I didn't text back... Got my son, we went to the store to get something to waste a few minutes and then got home right at 9pm. BF just sat on the couch and watched TV, didn't say anything. I went to bed and called my friend and just stayed to my own self. It was so hard to do this, I felt tremendous guilt for not "helping him out" with a beer. But I did it. And I had the strength because of the meeting. Today I woke up feeling great, didn't yell at him for drinking, didn't say any snide remarks, did my morning thing while he did his and I am so happy.
I am so glad that the meeting people were there and so supportive :) I got so much out of the meeting, even though it was Step 5 and I am still in the "I can't, he can, Let him" of the first steps...and I don't have a sponsor, but listening to people there last night was awesome and I can hear that it works.... There are some men from AA there too, double winners they said. Their shares were helpful as well. One guy said after the meeting and hearing my share and what was going on, that his wife started at alanon while he still drank. After a year in alanon she told him he had to leave. He said that the shift in her caused him to go to AA that day and he hasn't drank since. He said to hang on...that it really can work if I work it :)
Thank you all for your support as well. I really am glad I found a way to feel better. I plan on attending another meeting Saturday if things work out. My bf has to go to a DUI thing this weekend, I am without him for 2 nights!
Thanks again :)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
I am so happy for you! It is amazing how it feels to get the support in face to face meetings for me. It sounds like you are on track and I am happy to hear your share!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
I couldn't be more happy about this. I am so glad that you stood your ground and that you went to a meeting!! And that you are going back!! It has been so helpful to me and I hope you will feel the same.
Now THAT is a post that we should all frame and put up on our fridges (or perhaps somewhere a little less obvious, lol)....
What a great example of "it works if you work it" - leaning on your recovery tools - meetings, fellow Al-Anons, etc - and doing something that feels "right" in your tummy.... Awesome stuff...
Here's to continued success, so that you will feel comfortable (and justified) in getting to the point of not only YOU not willing to pick up booze for him anymore, but also of him knowing that, and stopping the asking of you...
Great stuff
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
This is such a fantastic share. It just warms my heart to see this. You sound so empowered already and that you have some hope.
It really does work regardless of what the A is doing. How exciting to have a couple of days to yourself. Those times are my favorites. Times to care for myself spiritually first, then emotionally and physically.
You did it.....took steps to setting that boundary not to buy is alcohol anymore. It will be something when he quits asking.
I made sure to put my f2f meetings first, reading, getting a sponsor and working the steps. Everything else has worked out if I always make those things the first priority in my life.
Another miracle coming up...Yay; Youfoundme!! Not reacting is a choice as saying "no" (a complete sentence) is also. Keep with it cause much more is coming. ((((hugs))))
