The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My wife maintains a group of friends that she has completely vilified me too. All the problems she was having at work or missing social engagements with these friends due to alcohol were attributed to the stress I was causing her. I started fantasizing about her step nine. Pretty funny actually, not really conducive to "letting go of resentments". I decided HER amends to me would be to "come clean" with these friends. No commitment to me necessary, just an honest relaying of the facts to her friends.
One of the last shares in my last f2f where the topic was courage a guy mentioned how hard it was knowing that his wife had a group of friends that never learned about the severity of her alcoholism and it made him feel bad like those people didn't realize how hard he had tried in the marriage. The up shot was that it was Al-Anon that had given him the courage to maintain anonymity and he had been rewarded with peace of mind after he was finally able to let go of that resentment.
Scary on point for me at the time. What was also wierd was I was about to share myself, but he beat me to the punch, glad I decided to listen that time instead of talk.
Aloha Dad...So God's doing that with you too huh? Cunning, Powerful and Baffling God is...still up to the old tricks that still work. When I practiced patience and openmindedness that is when I learned that my HP has more tools in HP's tool box than I have room for a tool box. The membership is all HP's tools. I'm grateful and smiling for you. Keep coming back, you're growing. ((((hugs))))
From time to time, I've felt resentful towards my exAH's family and some of his close friends, because they didn't know how bad his disease had gotten and he had completely villified me to them. Actually, some of the villian stuff was probably pretty accurate, given the severity of my own sickness. Anyhow, I felt resentful. It's nice to be able to put a finger on why, as you so eloquently did. I hadn't been able to put it into words for myself. Now that I can put my finger on it, I'm taking steps immediately to get it out. I'm on the 4th step in a step study anyway. Time to get that junk OUT!
