I have  shared that my dear son,35, is married to an A. It has been the usual progression of horror.

Breaks my heart. I am and have been blessed by MIP members to know how to listen to him. I have shared so many Al Anon tools and truths with him all along. He would call so miserable.

I would say I know how horrible it is honey. She is very sick. Then would explain the not engaging, the do not take anything she says personal, its a disease on and on.

I told him like his Grammy said, "when we are done, we are done."Talking about how our family is. We will give, forgive, help, love till we know that is that.

He would share bad times. I would say good M the more the disease shows the sooner you will be finished.

He loves her, or loved who she used to be. Loves her kids sooo much.Raised them for years.

She cheated he was trying to get past that, but as most do, he would watch her, check on her, followed her to Idaho, part of her job to make sure she did not cheat. I of couse shared that if she is going to do something,no amount of being a detective will stop her.

This week end was so bad. He called me this morn. But he is on anti depressants now. Has been for weeks. We went to my doc, he is so cool. M is going to cont. with him. Anyway new behavior from al anon and meds. He stayed calm. A went nuttier.

He was a gentleman. Said what he meant, packed his stuff and left and moved back to his house. he had her keys. She kept calling and calling.He say mom I have her keys. What should I do. I said well for me I don't want to go down to their level. I would go over there to get more stuff, leave the keys.

He said he had to think about it. then he called and said, I am taking keys over and leaving them in her car. period. I was soooo proud of him.

She of course yells how she will find someone else to take care of her. All the while yelling and putting him down to his kids, calling me a lunatic and his dad an alcholic. I reminded him it is the disease talking. That it does not hurt me at all for her to say that. I loved her from the beg. but cut it off when she drove drunk with her son in the car.

I told him well sounds like you are there. You are finished. I hope you don't go back, but you might. he said,"I hope I don't." Reminded him it is all part of the process.

He went fishing with his best friend, and his big ole Newfy/Mastiff I gave him.

My pride for my kids, who have been thru a lot, makes my heart swell. both fathers were A's. Daughters died, sons is totally mentally insane. Lost all our family along with me. GREAT family who adored my cute kids. They just have me. Both seem to really like me now...Thankyou HP big time!

The stressed out widow working going to college mom is now layed back, the voice of calm,still eccentric, earthmother! They actually listen to me! Now hopefully we have 44 more years...My goal is 102. my grama was 106!

It's so horrible to see him and what my daughter went thru loving an A.Daughter ran from her A, babies dad, first time he physically pushed her and new born to the floor.thank goodness I love HP/God the creator and know vengence is not mine. rrrr

Now my son gave it longer.But he is more like me. He gleaned all he could. He sees now how resiliant he is. He has been given a gift of a painful experience. I tell ya the earlier you get that, the better your life is if you allow yourself to learn from it.

He was telling me once he was fishing, this young beaver swam right between his legs! Typical debilyns kid, he grabs it and held it! He said it did not fight him at all. Of course he held it correctly.

Daughter, well she will rescue hurting cats and call mom.....haha

I am so glad MIP Al Anon opened its doors to me,even though I get threatened to be kicked out sometimes.....yikes.

It has been a huge value to my family and other loved ones.

So nice to have my son feeling better!

love,debilyn who's dogs are whining at her it is time to go to bed!