The material presented
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to exchange
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I don't know if this is the place for this, but I have to vent. Its 1am and I was up to get a drink. I saw my husband's coat on the chair with the pocket all zipped up so I went inside. There I found a check with my name signed at the bottom and my supermarket checking card. He just did this to me a couple of weeks ago. He bounced 2 checks on my account knowing I didn't have the money to cover them. He must have gotten a female to go into the store like they were me, bought something for a dollar and wrote it out for 40 more. I can't believe I have to sleep with all my checks on me and my store/bank cards too! And I can't believe that he would be so uncaring as to hurt me this way and put me in such financial hardship!
I know I'm not supposed to react out of emotion..which is why I haven't woken him up and thrown him out of the house...but what i did do was jot a little note on the check saying..."I want a divorce" and I slipped it back in his pocket. I'm going to insist he leave tomorrow. I can't live with someone who is abusing me this way..and thats just what this is. He has no regard for my life at all. He's supposed to love me...but he has another first love....drugs.
I know he has an illlness and I try to have compassion, but at some point I have to save myself or he is going to take me down with him. I'm so disgusted. I don't know how I'm going to control myself in the morning. Our grandaughter is sleeping over..she's 4...I can't have an arguement with her here, so I have to keep my cool until I can get her home. He's going to be really mad that I went through his pockets. He threatened me physically last time I did it.
Well , thats the story. For those of you that feel led to, please pray for me. Thank you and God Bless you all.
All I can say is I am sorry you have to go thru this , alert the grocery store pay in cash and protect your own interests. If he threatens you call the police . Louise
You are in the right place. My ex used to forge checks in my name all the time. Pereceptions of boundaries are smashed when it comes to addiction. The disease will tell a person anything is okay and "she will understand" or "It's not that wrong" just to keep up with the addiction.
Lynn, prayers your way. I want to say its not personal, it is addiction. It does feel personal however and does affect us. Glad your here and do what is best for you, because if you dont know one else will. Prayers and blessings.
I'm so sorry you're facing this. It sounds as if you've hit your bottom and this has been one boundary too far. I wish I had had the ability to figure out my boundaries much earlier than I did.
One thing that was a a revelation to me was the idea of acting rather than merely reacting. Nearly every separation I had from a relationship came when one of us would get overheated and fed up and start saying, "That's it! I'm out of here!" With the predictable tears, shouting, and turmoil.
The idea that I could rationally decide that things were not working out and say calmly that I thought we should separate was a revelation. And the idea that I could plan out how it was going to go -- first I'd do this, then I'd take care of that, etc. -- what a concept!
It sounds as if you are farther toward that understanding than I was. I guess in your shoes, knowing what I know now, I'd think how the "I want a divorce" note should be processed -- telling him out loud and when, what actions to take next, etc. You've probably thought about that already.
I hope one of the actions you can take is to go to face-to-face meetings. We all need a lot of support to get through this and take care of ourselves. The betrayals are just mind-blowing. Hugs.
I'm sorry, I have had that same experience and have slept with my important financial things also. Good choice in working your recovery by sharing here and not reacting at the moment. Prayers for your serenity and care.
Hi, well ..I decided, after finding another needle (this time in the car) that I need to do what is best for me and leave. I collected my things while he was asleep so there would be no drama. Called my friends and asked them to tell him they haven't heard from me. (I don't want anyone being a middle man in the midst of this drama) And I'm staying with my son. I'll figure out a plan of action as the days progress and the dust has a chance to settle. Thank you for your prayers. I have a certain peace about my decision, I know it is the grace of God.
