Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

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Post Info TOPIC: new here & have some questions


Member

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Posts: 6
Date:
new here & have some questions


im new to al anon (went to one f2f last week & have been reading the posts here for about a week also).  im married to an alcoholic who just relapsed at easter after 5 months sober, and my dad is a (mostly functioning) alcoholic.

im not sure where to start.. my dah is out at our friends farm drinking right now and i am left at home with our baby with no car.  im worried him drinking & driving as the car & insurence is in my name.  im worried about having my daughter grow up with an alcoholic father, even if he "isnt a mean drunk"because he's so much more of a helpful, considerate dad when he's sober. im not very good at setting boundaries and im looking for support in that area i guess, as well as experiences & wisdom from others

thanks in advance, this seems to be a pretty solid group



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3854
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Good for you finding a meeting , there is nothing you can do about him as I am sure your learning now , but you can take care of yourself , dont drive with him if he has been drinking take care of yourself and baby .  Instead of worrying while he is out enjoy your baby and a little quiet time , pray that he returns safely . not worrying sounds easy I know but I also know it isnt easy , as far as insurance etc you can have it changed to his name if it is really causing you a problem but I know if he has an accident drinking insurance is invalid regardless of whos name its in . 



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I came- I came to-I came to be



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
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Al Anon taught me to protect myself from the possible outcomes of loving an A.

Myself I got a legal separation, that here in Oregon just means we were married only. I was not responsible for any of his liabilty.

We talk about boundaries here. My boundary was  he did not drive my car, he had to get his own insurance on his car.

Or put the car and ins. in his name only.

If your husband gets in an accident or gets a ticket,it goes on YOUR record. My mother friend was a deputy sheriff, her son in law got in an accident, huge mess. and here was this dep sheriff who lost HER license. She did not even give him permission to have her car!

I really believe in protecting me and mine.

Hoping you come back! love to you and your little one! debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1594
Date:

Laura,

I am so glad you are here. I hope you are able to make it to more face to face meetings. There are many of us in the meetings can understand you as perhaps few others could. When I walked into the rooms of Alanon I felt a peace, love, comfort and understanding that no one else seemed to have.

I thank you for sharing on this board today. I do so hope you are able to attend more face to face meeting. The Alanon program really works. Keep Coming Back.

{{{{HUGS}}}}
Tommye

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